Saturday, February 13, 2021

SEEK (αναζητούν)

Good morning my sister warriors-


Lord as I put Your words out there may they touch the lives of the lost, lonely, and seeking. I pray this in your name.

Today, I started this post with a prayer. You see prayer is an intricate part of my life. It has been there since I learned the Lord's prayer when I was just four years old. My grandmother taught it to me, she was also the first person that took me to church. I tell you this because the next year she was gone. 

I still remember her worry beads (rosary) strung on her bed. I can remember her speaking comfort to me and teaching me about Jesus. Those words have forever been a beacon of light to me. Her words, her teachings took me on a path to seek (zeteo) the kingdom all the days of my life.

One woman, for one year, impacted a little girl through years of hardship. My goal is to be that woman for you. To steer you out of the world and into the Kingdom of God. Not as a religious zealot but as a woman who has had challenges, who has faced loss and hardship. I've been confused, sought prestige and money and I've even lost sight from time to time. I've put work over my relationships, including my most sacred relationship with God, His Son, and the Holy Ghost. You see, I am not about religion. I believe that the relationship is most important. Man defines religion, God defines relationship in His words, His miracles, and His continued presence throughout mankind.

My goal today is not to say, "bad girl or listen to me." My purpose is to steer you toward Him with His words. My grandmother in 12 months showed me with her dedication, through the teaching of the Lord's prayer and through love that Jesus would always be there for me. And you know what, she was so right.

Life is not easy, especially today. Women are being challenged, tempted, and that's the plan of evil. You see the farther the world can carry you away from Jesus, more bad will come. We are the pillars of the family. Those set to carry the sons and daughters of future generations. It is our birth right and our purpose to lift others, to love and to carry on the tradition of love, faith, and devotion.

We are special. We have a purpose and I believe when we seek God, we truly find Him. The peace of all understanding lies in the blood of Christ. 

I know life is confusing right now. I know you are fighting against wanting to be the most powerful and yet wanting to be loved at the same time. I've been there, I know. I am just so thankful that my grandmother cared enough to open the Bible to me, to give me a prayer that has carried me my whole life and maybe even more importantly, a heart to seek Him. 

She knew a secret that I will share with you today. She knew that without Him she was nothing but with Him she could conquer anything. If life is hard, try going to Jesus. He's ready to walk with you through His words. Praying for you my sister. Seek him first and you will begin to see the world and yourself in a new way.

Jeremiah 29:13 NIV

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your heart.

Psalm 24:6 NIV
Such is the generation of those who seek him, who seek your face, God of Jacob.

The Lord’s Prayer

Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom and the power, and the glory,
forever and ever.


Sunday, February 7, 2021

NEVER ENOUGH-Where does my hope (ελπίδα) come from?

Good morning my warrior sisters-

It's been some time since last I wrote. Time goes by so fast. My apologies for not taking the time to get on this blog and for not reaching out in many months.  I've been in the throes of researching, learning Greek and praying for the nations, for our men and for our children. It's been a turbulent time in America and beyond and with such times, I have been silent but praying.

The title of this blog is "Never Enough." I guess that's how I've been feeling lately. Not quite good enough to spread the words of God. Not quite good enough as a mother or an employee. Just not good enough to serve a mighty God and spread his truth. Have you ever felt that way? Simply, quietly a failure because you just can't do it all and so something suffers, mainly your service to the Holy One.

That's where I've been. I've been writing in journals instead of on the web. I've been secretly praying in the dark for our world, for our men and for all people. I've prayed for unity, love, and awareness. I've prayed for truth to set us free and a world to see Jesus instead of themselves and yet, here I am talking about not being enough. You see when we don't believe we can do something, we won't. When we let fear enter us then defeat can easily come next. And when we see ourselves as nothing, then we are nothing (at least in our own minds and hearts).  None of it is true, however. The truth is that the Lord our God made you for such a time as this and even when you don't feel you are enough, He is!

In the last year, I've learned a lot about myself, my children, and the world we live in. I see how the world is dominating young men and making them weak. I see women only focused on breaking the glass ceiling and people only caring about the politics they believe in, instead of mankind. I've watched as the orphan count moves up, as families are displaced and as COVID has broken once profitable business owners. Many have had to bury loved ones this year and many can't pay rent or buy food. And by the way, they did nothing to get in that position. The world takes and each of us have a story to fulfill.

So maybe you are like me and questioning if you are enough. Maybe your strength is zapped, and you are weary. Maybe you find yourself mothering, teaching, and trying to be everything to everybody and in the quiet, you look up and say, "I just can't do it anymore. I'm not enough."  Don't be discouraged, you've just ended where God begins.

At this point, you’re probably saying to yourself, "that's what she thinks." I hear you. It's not what I think that matters. It's what the Bible teaches. Do you think Ester thought she was enough? Of course not. She feared going to the King for sure. Do you believe the woman at the well believed she was enough? I'm pretty sure her answer to Jesus says it all. Do you believe that Peter thought he was enough? Remember, he denied Jesus three times and he was his friend. 

In this life, we will struggle. We will struggle with self because humans are selfish. It's only when we feed the Word into our lives that we find Jesus and finding Jesus means we find hope.

Hold this word deep in your heart. Ask Jesus to give you a way, a HOPE, a truth to feel blessed and anchored in Him. We are not enough alone. I know that to be true. Jesus has shown me over and over that together, with Him, I can do the impossible. 

And that's why I'm writing to you. Live your best life. Look for Him. Ask Him to show you the way. He is the great Shepherd; through Him we can trust and have HOPE. A glimmer is better than none and by the way, have grace for yourself. We are not perfect; I am not perfect. Seek and you will find Him. If He can be graceful to us, then we should have grace for ourselves. We are ENOUGH through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. 

Hebrews 6:19 NIV

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, (20) where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.

My prayer for you today:

Lord, please let this word (elpida)seep into the hearts, minds and souls of the women that don't feel ever enough. You, O, God are the way, the truth, the light. Through you, we can see ourselves and through that mirror we can begin to flourish with grace and hope. I pray that you would continue to guide my warrior sisters to you and that you would not allow us to give up but rather to forever look for you in all our circumstances. I pray this in Jesus name. AMEN

Sunday, June 14, 2020


Good morning my warrior sisters-

I hope this finds you well. I'm sitting on my patio listening to the sweet sounds of song from all the beautiful birds. My dogs are trying to kill some barn swallows and I'm drinking coffee realizing that I haven't really looked at the world with such awe in quite some time.

The world is in great turmoil, no need to rehash it all here. I think if you are out in society you know that already.  There is a lot of foolishness going around and not much wisdom for sure. As I was diving into Scripture today foolishness (Moria in Greek) jumped off the page. When I think of foolishness, I think of the meaning:

 Foolishness (adj): resulting from or showing a lack of sense; ill-considered; unwise:
a foolish action, a foolish speech.
In Corinthians, God explains that foolishness is actually good. Why? Because those that think they have wisdom, actually don't. Have you ever noticed how the Bible flips words?  We believe one way because society and culture dictate it so. Just like in the time of the Pharisees, they were the wisest of the Jews and yet, dead to the truth. Through their perceived wisdom, they crucified God's son. 
I believe we are all a little foolish in our own right. We think we know best but don't. We choose other methods of comfort over Christ. We stomp our feet and raise our hands against all the wrong things, and we believe we could do a better job than those in authority.  We think we know everything, when actually we know very little. In the last months, I have pondered that thought often. Especially, when situations didn't go exactly as planned. The conclusion I've come to is I must seek God's words and God's wisdom, for my own is formed by the world at large, and not by truth.
The world seeks to destroy, whereas, God Himself seeks to provide wisdom.  Moria in the Bible is not represented as the meaning would suggest. We see this in Corinthians. 
1 Corinthians 1:25 NIV:
For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.
I pray for the foolishness of God and not man. I pray for wisdom for women everywhere. I pray we will lift our men and children up to God and that He might be with us to provide greater wisdom and more strength to fight the spiritual battle taking place all over the world. We must not fear, for fear crushes. I believe that He is who He says He is and that He will provide for all of us as we seek Him.  Ladies, I beg of you to consider this truth as a foundation of how we should pray in the coming months.  We must seek God with our whole hearts and pray that Christ intercedes on behalf of every nation, every color, every situation. We need His foolishness to spread throughout the world and we need to trust Him. AMEN!

Monday, May 25, 2020

Move toward the LIGHT (φῶς)

Good morning my warrior sisters:


I've been up for hours now, reading, writing and talking to Jesus! Best part of my day, that is along with a cup of freshly brewed coffee!


I hope today finds you well. It seems like America is waking back up from a deep sleep.  People are out more; we are phasing businesses back to life and soon COVID-19 will just be a historical event on the books. For me, I think it's really changed me. Not in fear as it has done for some but more in living. Time is precious, I think I knew that but wasn't living that way. I've changed and so have my priorities regarding time, connecting with others, and looking for Jesus. All of a sudden the most prevalent, maybe the most pertinent priority is getting into His word, praying and seeking Him over everything else. 


Which brings me to our word today, Light or FOS as it is in Greek. I think people all around the world need this very word. For some images of death and destruction are all they can see, and unfortunately, there will be more to come. In places like Brazil mass graves have been dug in anticipation of death. We've even seen it here, although not a war, it seems like it.  And with any war comes darkness. We must fight that darkness with the power of light.  You see Jesus is the light of the world. He overcame darkness so that we would have eternity.  


Jesus' light doesn't just illuminate the world for a moment, it’s for all time. So, as you contemplate this life, which might not be so pleasant right now, I pray you get your Bible's out and begin to pray for revelation. FOS is revealing. From Genesis to Revelation, light is referenced and for good reason, FOS overcomes darkness every single time. 


Light is beautiful, it is a beacon on the hill that delivers us from darkness. It shines to remind us that we are His and in Him we can conquer the darkness. Don't give up hope for a brighter tomorrow. It might look different; I think we all know it will but every single day the sun rises we know the power of our God. He placed it there to remind us that it is a NEW day!


I hold onto the hope that FOS gives me, and I hope you do to. I have disappointments just like you and I always will.  I guess the things I've learned from this life are that the only true power we have is in His words and in their meaning for our lives. Many call the Bible old fashioned; I believe it’s the most relevant book for today.  It carries a message of hope in a time of great fear, financial uncertainty and death. As a matter of fact, I would like to challenge you to look up many of the passages containing light. Did you know that in the NIV version of the Bible light is referenced 232 times, think that's a coincidence? Light is important today, tomorrow and years to come. HE IS THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD. You can look for years for a fix and Lord knows we all have but, in the end, there is only one fix, Jesus. 


I challenge you to look up light and I know He will be revealed. Good luck, it's a challenge worth taking. 


Be well my sisters and forge ahead one minute at a time with light leading you to Him.


Proverbs 20:27

The human light is the lamp of the Lord that sheds light on one's inmost being.


Isaiah 9:2

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

What counts and who are you BEHOLDEN (υπόχρεος) to?

Good morning my warrior sisters-

I woke this morning at 4 am and went straight to writing to God. Have you ever woken with a start only to find you need to sit with your Savior?  For three days I have woken and went straight to my writing and it has comforted me.

Through my writing the word BEHOLDEN (υπόχρεος) sprang to my mind. I wrote: "I'm forever grateful to you Lord and I know  your will for my life is better than my will for sure. You are amazing and great, O, Lord. I am beholden to you."

Beholden means: Owing thanks or being of service to someone.

That's me in a nutshell!  I'm beholden to the living God who loved me enough to sacrifice His Son on a cross and give me life.

What a gift to be given and to find a word that so encompasses how I feel today.  I was taken back through many events as I sat and wrote in my journal this morning and one thing stood out; in crisis I always want to flee.  I want to have a Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C.  The problem with that philosophy is in the words, "I want."

Faith is like building muscle, you must train every day to see the results and that's exactly what I must do.  Otherwise, I start moving to I want. How can I be beholden to God and still speak those two little words? That's the question I asked myself today and the answer was glaring, the two can't even live in the same space. 

I've faced many trials in my lifetime, but I have to say the biggest trial is in me. It's in my wants, desires and heart. It bleeds for me instead of God and how it pains me.  I'm lucky though because every time I start walking down the path of my two-year-old self, God says: "Do you remember me and who you serve?"

Yes Lord, I do remember you and I remember that I must surrender all in order to seek the kingdom. So that's exactly what I'm doing by writing to you. I'm asking you to die to your desires, your hopes, your fears, your dreams, your ambitions and surrender.  We must be BEHOLDEN to Him because He is who we can trust, he does hold our dreams and hopes and as we surrender, we are gifted with our greatest desire which is to be in His presence. All else worldly does not compare to one second in His presence. 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 NIV: give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

May this day find you well and may you surrender your two-year-old self like I did at 4:30 am. It's well worth it and it has many perks. Remember an obedient child finds favor.

My prayer today:  O, Lord, comfort those of us that continually go to the "I want."  We know your will for us is better than our own and yet, we fall. Lift us up and walk us through our surrender so that we can find you. I'm completely grateful to you and for all you've done to walk me through every tantrum. You are so faithful, and I am so beholden to you.  May my sisters seek you daily with humbleness and surrender and may I continue to be beholden to you.  In Jesus name I pray. AMEN!

Sunday, May 3, 2020

EVEN NOW (akomi kai tora)...

Good morning my warrior sisters-

It's a beautiful Sunday morning in the heart of Kansas. The birds are signing loudly as the trees sway to the north winds. It's a much different picture than this morning at 6:30 AM when the winds were bending the trees in half and the rains were torrential. Isn't it strange how events come and go so fast? One minute you are in a dark and gloomy storm and then, like so much of life, the sun comes out and it's beautifully sunny and happy again.

Some trials take a season, others take years and then some are short and sweet. Unfortunately, we are not in a time like that today.  Instead we are in a season similar to the seasons of the great plague or even cholera. There is no stopping point. The pains are in waves very similar to child birth.  It started slowly with groaning and stretching.  It graduated to great pain and the thoughts that the pain was much to much to bear and now, there's a sense of, "When will this be over?"  Unlike with childbirth, we may not see the end of this pain. More is to come but there is hope if we do one thing: rend (shizo in Greek) our hearts toward Jesus.

You see we have forsaken the one true God. We have put ourselves, our beliefs and our desires before the truth. We have turned our backs, stayed silent and excluded God Almighty from our every day lives. We don't speak the name of Jesus for fear we will offend and so, we are seeing the fruits of our apathy.  Many will say, "Where is God?" It's always our nature to blame everyone and everything but ourselves.

It's time to take responsibility, to stand up and offer hope to the hurting through Jesus Christ. In Joel 2: 12 (NIV), it states: "Even now," declares the Lord: "return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning."

We still have time, we still can repent and tear our hearts toward him. We can mourn with those that mourn and weep with those that weep.  We are in a crisis and we must approach it with all our hearts.

I am comforted that "even now" our Lord is with us. He's waiting for us and there is so much hope in those two words. I am in awe of a God that never gives up on a spoiled, foolish people. He is a true father, a true friend.

Take a moment to thank Jesus for the sacrifice of His life.  He will intercede on our behalf. He is one with the Father and through Him we will see restoration.  I have no idea where COVID-19 will take us but I'm sure of this, we have a father that loves us. Even in our own iniquity, He will be there for us and all He asks is for us to return to Him with ALL of our hearts. I, for one, hold onto that promise and ask the Lord to guide us and care for us. 

May today find you well.  Will you please pray this prayer with me? 

Almighty God, please come upon your people and heal our land. We are sorry for the apathy that has filled our hearts and minds. Draw close and light a fire in our hearts for you and only you. Protect us and provide for us, for we know that only through you is there external life. Make us courageous when we want to fear and help us to lift up our brothers and sisters in their hour of need. We pray this as one, even now with all the dissension, please heal our lands! We believe that you can. In Jesus name, AMEN!

Saturday, April 11, 2020


Good morning my warrior sisters-

We are approaching the day in History when Jesus was Risen from His grave.  So many don't believe this and yet, we know it truly happened. People witnessed it and because of it, we are saved.

This week has been a tremendous journey in prayer for me. I have thought about Jesus so many times as I've prayed about all the jobless in America, for those dying without family and for the lost that need Him so very badly.

Last night, my husband and I rented "I STILL BELIEVE," the story of Jeremy Camp and his wife and it rocked me a bit I must say.  How many times have I faced the fire to ask those very questions? How often did my plans fail and I wondered how could this be? How many times did I pray and believe for a different outcome only to find out that it's not my plan but His?


And yet, my trust is in Him the maker of the heavens and earth. My trust is in the unknown, the unseen and the often-made fun of. My trust resides in His blood. The blood that was shed on Calgary for me. You see, I pistis (believe) the red sea did part, I believe a famine took over the land and I believe fire rained from the heavens. I believe that thousands were killed in German camps because of the evil one and I believe that JESUS died and rose again for us.

I have spent so many years with my God watching out for me that I know there are miracles every day that go unseen and I know that in the face of COVID-19 we may suffer financially but we will gain in life. 

My confidence does not rely on the stock market or human kindness and acts of good deeds. It does not exist because I believe humans are giving and loving. My confidence is in Him who sacrificed His own life so that I may have eternal life. 

My life has not been easy, and it's not been as hard as some. I have endured loss and I have felt insignificant. I have watched disease take my loved ones and I have waited by the phone to find out if my brother had survived a fall off a Colorado mountain. I have endured stress in marriage, divorce and reconciliation and I'm walking in faith that my youngest will once again recognize the God I so love. Life has its moments but in all of them, we can pistis. 


Because he is faithful. His people still exist today, although they shouldn't. The nation He was born to still holds part of their lands, even though enemies have tried to take it repeatedly. Gentiles know His name because He made it so, which means even though I have no Jewish blood, I am His.

I am forever grateful to my God because I am not worthy. I am fallible and have fallen more times than I want to admit. I am nothing without His blood and I deserve nothing and yet, He gives me grace freely. I don't have to earn His love; it's handed to me and was handed to me the day He chose to die a criminal’s death on a rugged cross. 


Yes, we will. I still believe in the face of destruction there is light. Will we be a prosperous nation again?  That I can't answer, only time will tell. What I can tell you is that we were meant to be destroyed by the one that holds the world, yet, we can trust our God is near and that what is impossible for man, is possible for Him. You see we choose to run after power, money, prestige and our own selfish desires. He pursues us because He knows we NEED Him.

On this beautiful Saturday, take some time to reflect on your life. Disappointment is part of this fallen world, light shines in the face of it. May you see Him today the way I do with belief and anticipation for my life would be nothing without Him.

John 6:29 NIV

Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe (pistis) in the one he has sent."

Acts 16: 31 NIV

They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved-you and your household."

My prayer for you today:

No matter the circumstances, I pray that you would ask Jesus to reveal Himself to you today. I pray that this day would be the start of many that you begin to believe the words written in the Bible for they are true and living. Even though you may not understand them, carry them in Your heart and speak them often. I believe not because I'm brainwashed but because I know it to be so. Jesus take Your words and place them into the hearts of men and women everywhere. I praise You and thank You for guiding sinners to the cross and for freely giving us Your love. 

Saturday, April 4, 2020


Good morning my warrior sisters-

First, praise be to Jesus!  For in this time of great strife we must begin with praise!

How often are you watching the news or hearing how the administration is failing?  How often do you see a video where people are doing the wrong thing?  How many times have you heard how many millions are impacted by COVID-19 or that the sky is falling?

I'm sure you have heard or seen many of these things. What we aren't seeing is what's happening behind closed doors or in private discussions within our towns, states and government. We're not seeing the millions of people that are helping others, donating ventilators, designing new technologies like testing, or even about the auto workers who have worked tirelessly to change their plants into ventilator factories.  And then there are the doctors, nurses, medical assistants, working 12 hour shifts in hospitals all over the country. We aren't getting insights into the truckers as they've driven load after load and it doesn't end. We aren't with the grieving people as they mourn their dead and those who must lift them up from afar.

There is a mighty God in the unseen and yes, we are in a GEHENNA (valley).  There remains so much unknown and lack of direction that people feel like they are either in a dream or the worst nightmare they've ever had. This is where God begins to work, when man can't do anything to pick himself back up, God is picking us up out of the valley onto green grass.

For in the shadow much is happening. People are being saved, children are getting to spend more time with their parents, families are eating together and we are starting to care for our neighbors. You know, the ones we are supposed to love but we don't know their names only their faces. Well, after shelter in place orders, they are no longer faces on a street but real people, with real stories, and those stories are what's keeping all of us inspired in the face of this pandemic.

I don't know when things will return to normal and I'm not sure I even want normal again if it means we are selfish, driven, lack time for family and friends, and have no sensitivity to others hardships. I'm praying for a new normal where Jesus is the foundation and that hearts are turned toward Him. I'm praying that we care about our brothers and sisters all over the world and that we feel an immediate need to spread the gospel. Three weeks ago we were all in a different place and my hope is that the GEHENNA we now are in makes us realize that life is short and the world does not hold the keys. For the one who holds the keys to the world is here to destroy all the good that comes from worshiping Jesus and believing that we can TRUST IN HIM.

I have no idea where you are today or what you hope in. I hope you found this blog and it is turning your heart toward Jesus. My words mean nothing but HIS WORD is strong and true.  Hang on my dear sisters and pray, this to shall pass.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4

Lord, our Father, do YOUR will on earth and make us better people. May the valley of the shadow of death give us hope in YOU. May we comfort the mourners and pray for those that don't know where their rent will come from today. Give us eyes to see where we need to go and Lord give us courage to spread the good news during this pandemic. People of all races and from all countries need to hear Your WORDS and be comforted by Your SPIRIT. I am just one of many that follow you and that are being called. Please be with us and may my words encourage women to seek you first.  In Jesus name I pray, your daughter Lisa.

Sunday, March 29, 2020


Good morning warriors-

It's been over two years since last my fingers typed on this blog and SO MUCH has happened.  Here we are in a world that changed in the blink of an eye, we are at home and COVID-19 is rampant. And I in all the chaos,  I find myself once again realizing how important HIS words are in our lives.

Breathing, inhaling and exhaling will not stop all the uncertainty, only God can calm the mind, bring peace to your being and provide a road toward hope. It's in our ability to look up that is important now, not money nor power are important right now. We are all learning that we must look for provision and sanity in other places besides ourselves and we are all looking for answers.

Families are going out together, they are eating at home together, there aren't any sports to take us away from each other and all of the sudden we have to be together, which means in a few weeks our lives completely changed. So out of what is bad, we are finding hope in ways I haven't experienced in my lifetime. We went from being a nation with stock markets at all time highs to lows we haven't seen since 2008.  We were a divided nation based on political viewpoints and there was lots of hate.

How can something good come out of something so bad?  Because we love a God who is turning our hearts toward him, that's how.

It will be HIS word that impacts us in the coming days when things are dark.  WE MUST unite and find HIM.

So today, I leave you with the word I spoke on Christmas.  It would be my word for 2020 and wow is it so true today.  I chose TRUST as my word this year.  In Greek, it is elpizo.  Trust is hard in good times, now I must trust in the unseen and I will choose to believe day by day through the words spoken over thousand of years ago.

Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

I BELIEVE, I TRUST, DAY BY DAY, JESUS WILL SHOW ME THE WAY, and HE will for you too!  Let's trust together...

Until tomorrow...

Saturday, June 23, 2018

God is waiting...

Good morning my warrior sisters-

One of my greatest joys is reading the Bible and all the Bible plans they have on the Bible app. It's a joy to be immersed into a five day journey with so many talented and gifted writers and followers of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Today, I spent time and read and found myself wondering when I quit imagining, when I stopped believing in miracles and in things unexplained. I used to have the greatest imagination. I wanted to be a detective, a forensic scientist, and a writer. I had dreams of being a princess, an executive, a mother and a lover. I believed that I could do anything. That is until life happened.

Life gets hard and you begin to get jaded. Over time, I became very jaded. Life was hard. Failing, struggling and not being very good at math dashed many of my dreams. Having a family and going to work, didn't leave a lot of time to dream of being a princess, especially when I was working, caring for kids, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, cooking and doing laundry. The joy of imagining just swept away with responsibility and reality.

I quit believing that God could whisper into my heart. I didn't feel the Holy Spirit rolling so I entrenched myself in reality. Life was going to be hard. I believed that God loved me and that He was with me but all the things I once dreamed of were gone and so was my purpose. That is until recently. I had experienced a moment where I felt the pull of the Holy Spirit. It happened in a time where my purpose was being rocked. I was listening to podcasts just to get through the day. I had to read the word, hear the word and immerse myself in everything Holy because I could barely get out of bed. It was a dangerously low time in my life and then I began to hear words. Biblical words which would ultimately save me and pull me out of my pit of despair. It was as if my purpose came to the forefront and I knew what was next.  That is, before the fear and all the stresses of life.

I am an ever changing creature. One day, I'm feeling creative and the next I'm under a pile of minutia and that beautiful creative creature is far beneath the sea. As I've said, I'm a realist. However, I'm starting to wonder if I let that all go, what could God do with me and through me? The Bible talks about people like me, on shifting sand. One minute I believe I will be on stage talking about Jesus and the next day, I can't even write one page. How am I supposed to spread the Word of God if I am sinking like sand?

Which leads me to this morning where I was reading from Rick Warren's study on Imagination and in my heart I heard, "you have purpose, just start."  And I realized that God continues to have patience and He is waiting for me to imagine what it will be like to spread His words to the nations. He is so patient. He waits for His sheep to come to Him. We are like the puppy that chases his tail and then when you call, looks up and comes running. God is whispering to all of us. In His word, He has called us to be courageous, to believe that He will rescue us in the flames and that like those that have gone before us, we must forge on and help the lost find Him.  I might be like sand. I might lose my imagination and forget the power behind me but God never forgets. He made us for this time. He made YOU for this time. We are very lucky, our God is waiting for us to pick up our pen, our phones, our Bibles and forge ahead, into the wilderness to find the lost and make HIM KNOWN.

He's waiting, are you ready to MOVE? It just takes one step at a time. How do I know that? Because that's what I'm doing. I'm drawing close to God and walking in faith. I'm opening my mind to imagine the purpose He has for me. I'm stepping not striding and every day I'm giving Him my heart and asking Him to educate me and immerse me into His purpose, not mine.

Hebrews 11:31-35 NIV

By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient.11:31 Or unbelieving
32And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson and Jephthah, about David and Samuel and the prophets, 33who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, 34quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. 35Women received back their dead, raised to life again. There were others who were tortured, refusing to be released so that they might gain an even better resurrection.

Lord, thank you for being patient with your sheep.  Help all of us to find You today and to immerse ourselves in your word. You never change! We love you and thank you that You are always faithful.

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Mine or His...

Good morning my warrior sisters-

This morning I'm sitting outside a Holiday Inn in the beautiful state of Virginia listening to the birds and watching an ant as it walks all over my book by Sharon Jaynes, "enough."  I love to spend time with God every morning but the last couple of days have been especially wonderful. I've been surrounded by nature, great temperatures and beautiful trees. It has reminded me of times on the lake with my mom and dad, which is especially endearing on Father's Day.

This week has been important for another reason, I've come to a place where it must be His over mine. Are you confused? I am a bit too. I promised myself I would take 30 days to stand still and really try to listen to what God wants in my life and as always I've been answered.

Entitlement is not just about one generation, it's really about individuals. I can say that often I've felt entitled. I've worked hard all my life and worked to make companies grow and because of my ability I felt like I should be in a different place in my life today. And yet, I am not. I think that has been swirling around in my mind and heart for the last three years. Which is why I've been seeking the mighty revelation of our savior and I've come to a realization, IT'S NOT ABOUT ME.

How many times must we read the parables in order to come to a profound revelation? For me, probably one hundred times and during this week as I read it one more time, God revealed that it is His way not mine.

One of my character flaws is that I am stubborn and it's also one of my biggest strengths. I believe strongly, I live stubbornly and I love fiercely. In contrast, I die to myself slowly. God knows this so He waited and I've finally heard.

My goal this year was to be back in the saddle in sales, fulfilling my destiny and being great once again. That was my plan and with it was a bit of entitlement.   Seventeen days into my journey of gratitude and rest, I've come to the conclusion that I must and will surrender to the calling I have been given --which starts with spreading His word through WORDS.

If you've been feeling lost and maybe a little angry at the events in your life, take time to thank God for the lessons you have learned.  Gratitude is what gives us the ability to see His will over ours. As we thank Him for the small things, surrender the desires of our heart and embrace the brokenness of lost things, paths and people, God creates in us a new heart.

I don't want to be at His feet with my life flashing by me to see that I didn't plant the seed and use the tools He provided. I want to walk over to Him, fall to my knees and say I ran the race just as you asked me to. Moses didn't take up his staff until he was in his 70's, David began fulfilling his shoes in his teens and Jesus sacrificed His life for us in His 30's. It doesn't matter how old or young you are, you have gifts and so do I and we need to shed the fear and walk into the fire. At least this fire will bear fruit and not destroy.

Wishing you a great day as you walk through the fire.

Lord, we have but this one life and many of us are running around with our heads cut off. We are Yours and we desire to be Your warrior soldiers. Protect us and keep us safe as we walk into the unknown. We need You and every gift You have foretold to become women that walk with You and spread the gospel. We were breathed into life for this time. Take our hands and lead us to our paths. May we bring glory and honor to YOU every single day of our lives.  In Jesus Name, AMEN!

Matthew 25:11-13 NIV

"Later the others also came. 'Lord, Lord,' they said, 'open the door for us!' "But he replied, 'Truly I tell you, I don't know you.' "Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.

Friday, June 15, 2018

Provision and Freedom...

Good morning my sister warriors-

This week has been an adventure. I'm in the beautiful state of Virginia at the Shell Super Rigs event and like all my adventures I've met wonderful people.  God reminded me this week that we often forget those that sacrifice for our well being.

Travel is never easy.  You have to  leave your family and there are always delays. This week really wasn't different except for my joyful attitude. Years ago the trials of Wednesday would have impacted my attitude in a very negative manner. Now, after years of travel, I find joy in the derailment.

The first person I met was a sales representative that was wondering if she should jump or stay at her current company. After talking, she said, "You have a lot of experience and should write a book." I told her that might be down the road but I have to finish the one I keep promising God first.

The second gentleman was a former soldier and does private stints in areas of the world that are dangerous. He was a believer and you could tell. He was strong in spirit and loved this country and the freedoms we have. I told him the story of the little blue soldier I retrieved on Memorial Day in Leavenworth, Kansas. On the box, it said take one of these soldiers and put it where you will remember the sacrifices these men and women make for our country, so I did. I have a good friend that is overseas and I pray for him whenever he pops into my mind. He loved the story but when I said I would pray for him to he said thank you, we all need the prayers.

That brings me to yesterday as I talked to truckers alone, away from their families and some with dogs as companions. They came in all shapes and sizes but they all had one thing in common, they were providing the goods we use every day.

We are very lucky in the US. We have men and women that drive trucks so we can have the comforts of life and there are those that leave their families to go to foreign, often dangerous places, so that we can have our freedoms. Not every country has what we have and it's so common here we forget the sacrifices of others for us.

I will not soon forget the faces I've seen as those mighty trucks came in and out of a very busy truck stop. I won't forget how one man told me he rescued a dog that rescued him. I won't forget that soldiers face or our conversation and I hope God reminds me to pray for all of them.

God has provided for all of us in the same way. He sacrificed something so dear so that we could have peace, joy, relationship and eternal life. Similar to the men and women that left there homes for their jobs, Jesus came to earth to provide a FREE way.

Take a moment to look around you and to pray for the semi that goes past you or a soldier, they need our prayers for they are doing God's work in providing for us.

As always my warrior sisters pray for those that need to know Jesus and if you are one of Him, He's ready to accept you to the family.  There's always room at God's table for one more, are you next?

Saturday, June 9, 2018

Behind the mask

Good morning my sister warriors-

Today, I'm going to talk about a topic that is close to my heart, suicide. Unfortunately, this tremendously sad and lonely act has hit my family twice and when I was young almost got me too. This is very personal for many reasons but so important to discuss on a public forum.

This week two very successful, public figures died at their own hand. One strangled herself and the other was found in his hotel room in France. They both seemed to have it all.  Money, fame, and adoration surrounded their earthly lives but it wasn't enough. Lurking somewhere deep within them was failure, loss, loneliness and a lack of hope for tomorrow.  These are the symptoms of suicide and often they aren't seen.

Since the 90's childhood suicide is up 30%, 1% would be bad and yet, we are up 30% in the US. Our masks have gotten better, more beautiful and far less revealing than what's really happening inside our minds.

You might not know Kate Spade or Anthony Bourdain. You might not have had suicide hit your family and you may never have experienced the thoughts that run through your mind. I pray you haven't. Statistics, however, are indicating that it's possibly 3 out of 10 people who are experiencing the thoughts that lead to this horrible act. Not only is it sudden, raw and devastating it leaves those that knew them, loved them and needed them;feeling guilty, lost, confused and defeated. The questions survivors ask themselves are: Why didn't I see the signs?, Why couldn't they have asked for help?, Wasn't I enough to keep them here?, Why didn't they want to stay?, Didn't they love me?, and the biggest one, WHY?

The children left behind will feel abandoned and like they weren't enough and the adults will rattle this around in their minds for the rest of their lives. Because we all feel like we can save people from the feelings and acts that are negative and destructive. Unfortunately, we don't have that kind of power only Christ does.

Depression, addiction, loneliness and turmoil lead to this line of thinking. The more a person can hide behind the mask the deeper the devil has a chance to churn those dark thoughts. The Bible calls it the pit of despair and boy is it. If you live on this earth, there is a chance you have felt lost, lonely and depressed. Many factors go into the deceptor and his ways. It starts small, maybe it's striving to be a success or making more money.  It could be the failure of your marriage or a loss of a child. It might be the fact that you've looked for that partner forever and you're still alone or maybe you are a child that's being bullied, being abused, or worse has been raped. These are all areas where people can fall down.

People contemplating suicide can hide these inner thoughts well. They can put on a smile and play along with the world as if everything is alright. To the outside world they are normal. Inside their minds these negative thoughts are causing lost sleep, the need to medicate or to run so fast everyone thinks they are supermen and women. These masks are the disruptors finest art. The better the mask the more people begin to feel like life isn't worth living and no one needs them anyway and this is the biggest LIE. You were born for a God-given purpose and every human on this earth was placed by a loving God who is near.

The destroyer taints what God has created. He is like a lion waiting to destroy you with one swipe and if he can get you isolated in your mind and with your flesh, he will pursue you. That's why the Bible talks about the full armor of God. There is a reason we must become one with Jesus in Spirit and in truth. The Word and the Spirit are powerful and will fill you with light, sometimes it's just a glimmer but a glimmer of the Holy light is all we need to weather tremendous storms. It's when the light is lost that suicide happens and that's what we must be aware of and pray against.

I, once thought there was no hope. I felt abandoned, my mom and I weren't getting along, college wasn't going well and I had gone through a series of bad relationships. All I wanted was to be loved and there was no love, no great friends, really no one. I went to school and work with a mask on. People thought I was so happy, that is, most people. My boss was a Christian and for some reason he just knew I needed Jesus. I was working at a Walmart pharmacy and I was lucky enough to work for a man that lived what he believed. Somehow God gave him a glimpse of what was behind my mask and before I knew it, I was accepting an invitation to a revival.

I was proud that no one knew I hated myself, that I felt unworthy and unloved. I had everyone fooled except my Savior. He was watching over me, whispering to a man I worked for. Larry asked me to go and I did and it was at this meeting, I found Jesus. I wish I could say that I never put on another mask but I have. I know how to hide when needed. Like all of us, I have times I feel unworthy and not enough but they don't last long because Jesus is my reason to live and through His word I can fight off the destroyer and carry Him in my heart, spirit and flesh. We are conquerors when the light fills us in our darkest times.

I tell you my story so that you understand that normal, everyday people go through times where they get deep into the pit of despair and as much as I believe in counselling and talking to people, in order to fight a dark spiritual battle, you need more, you need Jesus. The Bible says, He is the light of the world. We need the light, our children need the light and we must seek His wisdom daily to gain that light.

The destroyer hates light. He loves images and masks. He is the great deceptor spinning his evil dark thoughts and if allowed he will destroy. DON'T LOSE HOPE. God is near, He has been since He created the moon and the stars. He made us in His own image. He is our lamp unto our feet. The war between dark and light will go on until Jesus comes once again. That is a fact. Another fact is we will suffer from depression, conflict, turmoil and tribulations but there is one that holds you close and that's Jesus. No one comes to the Father unless they confess Jesus Christ Lord and Savior. The first step in getting those suicidal thoughts out of your head is to be covered by the Spirit of Jesus Christ.

Jesus can unveil the mask, cast off the deception and bring light into your darkened mind and soul. He paid the price of ALL sin and He knows what you're facing. He spent 40 days and nights being tempted by the evil one. And through it all, He said man does not eat bread alone but every word of God. Why words? Because the Bible is the lamp unto our feet. It is the sword that allows us to conquer those dark thoughts and it's the truth. Those other thoughts, negative, penetrating dark thoughts are not of a loving maker, they are of a destroyer.

If you are in the midst of feeling like the world is against you, that you don't want to wake up another day on this earth, please walk into a church, find a pastor, talk to someone and ask about Jesus. If you are afraid to do that, then right where you are ask Jesus to show you the LIGHT. The Bible says, when we seek Him we will find Him. Get online and Google Bible, there are free resources like the Bible app. Jesus is at your fingertips. He will make Himself known I promise.

The event I describe here happened when I was 19 years old. I can tell you that if Larry hadn't been the man he was, I'm not sure I would be here today. The God of all understanding knew who needed to invite me, when to invite me and opened my heart to receive Him. Thirty-three years later I have fought many battles with the destroyer and it has taken the Word to be my sword and My Savior to fight the good fight. Due to my trials, I pray for people, I understand and have empathy for the lost and lonely and I know that with Jesus we can and will stand for our God-given purpose in this life with hope and the security of knowing that we have a God that loves us in all our mess.

I believe that suicide is a spiritual battle and we must fight it with the only thing we have, the Words of God. We must pray and condition our minds, hearts and spirits to hear from our Lord and Savior. We must pray over schools, mental health clinics, daycares and mansions. If you have believed that you aren't meant to live another day, please go to someone and tell them. There is nothing sexy about suicide, it devastates those left behind. Notes don't help. Only you will fill the need your family has for you to be here. And if you want someone anonymous reach out to me. I will pray for you and if you're willing I will lead you to Jesus for He is the great counselor. You are valued and needed, please just reach out.

I pray my story and these words bring you hope for the future. Hope resides in Jesus.

The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6 NIV

For God gave us a Spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 ESV

The God of Peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you. Romans 16:20 NIV