Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Changing direction with faith...

Good morning all-

I woke up this morning way before my alarm clock to what I believe is a true revelation in my life.  You know it when you ask the Lord to reveal to you your sin and then He does.  In this case, it's really not a total revelation because the sin has been present for most of my life and as it's been revealed this year. Something had to change.

Since I was 24 years old, I have worried about provision.  It has been on my shoulders day after day, hour after hour.  You probably are wondering what changed for me.  My whole life changed because it was that year I became a wife and a mother and the worry set in.  Not in my wildest dreams would I have believed that provision would haunt me even 25 years later but it has.  Nothing can be more life changing than watching your child be so sick he should be in the hospital but you don't have insurance and there's not enough in your checking account to even write a $50.00 check so that your son can have medical treatment.  It was a profound and life changing experience for me and that one event has propelled me to work myself to exhaustion.  At this point, you might be asking yourself why?  Well it was mostly because if I worked hard enough,  I would never have to worry about medical treatment, where I would live or if I could buy food.

Unfortunately, I believe that it's this one sin that has kept me from fulfilling my calling and has been a life sin, one I really wasn't aware of until this year.  Who would blame a woman for working hard to support her family?  No one.  And yet, it is the one thing that has made me miss school events, be away for days at a time, and completely immerse my head into the problems of the day rather than the joy of being present with my kids.  That's how one small event can change the course of who you are and where your going.

At this point your probably wondering if I have regrets.  Yes but only in the sense that I wish I could have been around more.  I don't regret making sure my kids had clothes, food or shelter.  I don't regret supporting my husband so that he could do what he loved and I will never regret the calling God gave me to love others and there's been many I have prayed for and loved.  At the same time, I have high expectations of people because of my journey, which I believe have decreased in the last couple of months.

So what changed?  I started immersing myself into Scripture, I prayed and I asked God to cleanse me and make me new and out of it came this very significant revelation, I only trust myself for provision.  Just writing that makes me sick.  I often wondered how the Israelites could turn their backs on the manna that rained from the sky and here I am just realizing I'm no better.  I'm like the rich man that wanted to follow Jesus but didn't want to sell everything to follow Him.  I'm the Israelite who made a golden calf why Moses was on the mountain.  I'm part of the crowd who wanted to kill Moses for His words.  Pathetic don't you think?

And yet, I have a Father that doesn't give up on a daughter who believes she is the provider.  He pursues her and waits patiently until an event changes her whole life and the only place she has to go is to Him.  Everything she held sacred is in jeopardy and the only direction she has to run is into His arms and instead of turning her away, He holds her and says, "I've gone before you."  And if that weren't enough, He sends her to a Beth Moore event where on her chair is "Come to me all who are heavy laden and I will give you rest."  Coincidence, I think not.  Each chair was prayed over by a team of women and on my chair was the one thing I most needed to hear because I no longer believed in the  security of my hard work.  I needed a miracle.  I thought He was going to deliver me from my circumstances  but instead I found myself, through Christ, by the revealing of my sin and  true repentance.  I'm not the provider, He is.

So I'm changing direction.  I'm not looking for the next great thing I can worry about, like my future, my 401K or even my next step.  I'm only looking for His provision.  I haven't conquered the need to provide.  It will be with me daily as I give it to Him and asking Him to bless those around me first.  The last months have been very rough on me personally but the moment I gave up my provision and asked Him to provide the clouds moved out and the sun has never shined brighter.  I owe everything to Christ Jesus and I know it.  Thank you to a God that pursues us even when we can't see.  Thank you mostly to Jesus for loving me enough to reveal this very disfigured mindset, while renewing my heart at the very same time.  I owe all to Him and so do you.  I'm praying for a change in your direction of faith, go to Him today and ask Him to change your course.


Rest for the Weary
27"All things have been handed over to Me by My Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father; nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and anyone to whom the Son wills to reveal Him. 28"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. 29"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.…

Saturday, October 17, 2015

It's hard to wait...

Good morning my sisters-

Have you ever thought to yourself that it's just really hard to wait?  I have a million times.  I know people right now that are waiting for the right mate, the right job or just the storm to pass.  I remember my dad saying after my brother died that it would hurt for a while and then it would be more faint.  If you've lost a loved one you know the immense ache you feel and over time it does lessen.  You never forget them but it's not as intense as the day they died or even a year later.  Time does heal some wounds.  

Death is one thing and waiting on God to provide is another.  Those moments anticipating when, where and how can be intense. You might even find yourself thinking you have control over the situation.  Definitely, don't go in that direction.  We need to be proactive always but it isn't our hard work, our fortitude or even our stubbornness that will get the job done.  God alone must open a door, bring a mate to us or change the course of a wayward person.  We don't have that kind of power.  However, we were given a power many of us choose not to use.  We were given the opportunity to send prayers to heaven, not just for ourselves but for the world.

As I was sitting listening to Beth Moore in September, I heard prayers out loud going to heaven.  It sounded like a symphony and I thought how pleased God must be to hear all these women crying out to him.  There were almost 9000 women in that stadium that day.  Now quadruple that and what would you hear?  Beth didn't get to that point over night.  She spent hours researching, writing and spending time on her knees and when I say on her knees, that's exactly where she goes.  And now after much prayer, she is going to launch a television show.  Did that happen in an instant? No.  It happened over time through many tears I'm sure.  It happened by walking with Jesus, not for herself, but for others and it happened in God's timing, not hers.  Now I'm sure she did some things to get to this moment but God provided the door and the timing.

I know it's hard to wait for the right spouse or the right job, especially when your heart hurts and you need a new avenue.  I know it's hard to be alone night after night wondering when that special person is going to complete your life.  Those moments are real.  Yet, in my heart of hearts, I also know that the Lord of our souls loves us and is going before us.  He is preparing our rooms in heaven and He is watching us on earth.  I hate waiting just as much as all of you do.  I want things to happen right now.  Waiting allows me enough time to prepare my heart, my mind and my soul.  Waiting builds faith, perseverance and love.  Waiting means I have time to learn what God has in store and just like the Israelites, waiting prepares me to fight the next battle.

If I have to wait for my reward, then let me wait patiently, without grumbling and with a whole bunch of prayer.  Let me look toward my maker with awe and see that my little life is not as important as His plan.  I am just one of His children and I wait just like you and if I'm waiting to do great things then I'm totally okay with waiting.  My mom used to say, "The best things come to those that wait." I know she was right because every blessing in my life has come by waiting on the Lord.  He has always been my rock and when I'm full of myself, I know it's time to get full of Him.

May today find you well my sisters as the days get darker earlier.  Remember to look up and remember all that He has done for you!

Romans 8:19 NIV
For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.

Psalm 27:14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait ...
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. ... Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD! ...

We wait on the Lord, not because it's easy but because it's not.  We look for You ABBA as we watch the days turn to night and the years pass like the crow of the rooster.  We look forward to Your coming and to the time when waiting means Your glory.  Help us to look, watch and wait not for our own interests but for yours.  We are not patient by nature but we want to have Your patience. Bless those that wait upon the Lord and watch for Your hand on all things great and small.  Also, please bless Beth Moore as she reaches out to thousands of women across the US with this new television endeavor.  Her heart is Yours and we all need to live like that!  We are watching world wide waiting for you to do miracles on earth and as You establish your glory not just in heaven but on earth.  We praise the name of Jesus!  AMEN 

Friday, October 16, 2015

Having faith to sow a seed....

Good morning all-

For the last couple of months I have had a Compassion International flyer in my bag.  I was going to send it off the minute I got back from Beth Moore but it sat in my bag.  I have also wanted to donate to the Wounded Warriors project but I didn't know if the money truly went to those veterans that had served our country so strongly.

I have a big heart and sometimes that has impacted my judgment so I think I've become a little jaded when I really should have just prayed and God would give me the answer I needed.  Both things have been on my mind so much that every time I eat or see any commercial concerning a child I think of starving children everywhere.  And when I pass by someone serving in the military or see the commercial on TV it makes me pause.

But as I reached for my coffee this morning and remembered the dinner I ate last night, I realized I had to find that card in my bag.  I made a commitment that I need to fulfill.  It's to a little boy, far away from America.  It's my duty to remember the poor, the starving, the wounded and the lost.

I'm not telling you what to do.  I don't know your situation but I do know our God.  The money we are provided is for His kingdom.  If I don't sow a seed He's given me, how is His kingdom supposed to grow?  Nothing grows if it's stored inside.  It must be planted deep within the soil, fed water and fertilizer and then with enough good sun, it will grow.

I'm praying that this very small gift will help someone have what is plentiful here and so scarce in other parts of the world.  Please join me in asking God to feed nations and to give care to those that have fought for our security and for the security of nations.

For a seed sown in love surely will grow, are you willing to sow today?

2 Corinthians 9:10 Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread ...
Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase
your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. ...
//biblehub.com/2_corinthians/9-10.htm - 19k

Sunday, October 11, 2015

When you are lonely...

Good morning all-

Lately, I have really been cognizant of people.  I watch them and see their smiles don't always match what's going on inside.  I have found that we all put on a mask and allow the World to see what we want them to see.

I for one, am trying not to be that way anymore.  I'm trying to be authentic in all things including my very strong faith in Jesus.  I screw up just like everyone but I'm the first to apologize for my behavior, even when I don't want to.

Lonely people almost always seem okay. That's why so many that commit suicide don't understand how they will be missed.  They believe tomorrow just doesn't have any meaning but it does.  You are needed, wanted and have purpose.  Don' t let the moments of great loneliness get you down.  Realize that a child needs a hug or an elderly person needs to be cared for.  We are needed.  The problem is that the depression outweighs the truth.  No one needs to be alone.  There is always a different path.

Today, I have a beautiful friend going through loneliness.  My prayer for her is that she will come and be with me at church.  My prayer is the God of Abraham would fill her with His love and that she will come to Him in her hour of need.  I wish I could fill the emptiness but I can't.  She's alone and that's tough.

Please join me in praying for every sole that feels lost and alone.  They are important pieces to this journey and we need every soul to win the battle.  I'm praying and I know that our Father in Heaven loves His children.  Lord bring forth your comfort and lift up those that are downtrodden.  I ask that You would give them hope for their future and that they would see Your guiding hand in every step of today.  With all I have Lord, I cry out for them and ask them to come into the shelter of Your hand.
In Jesus name I pray, AMEN!

Jeremiah 31:25 (NIV)
I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.”

Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Friday, October 9, 2015

The New Faith..

Good morning all-

I hope all is well with you.  As I sit down to write this morning I have already had a cup of coffee, biked for 2 miles and listened to Bill Winston Ministries.  It's been a glorious morning.  I have about 10 minutes until I have to leave for work but this one thought is streaming in my head and I just couldn't hold it in anymore.  The thought is:

I love the Lord my God with all my heart, all my soul and all my mind! 

I woke up praising my savior and as always hoping I don't screw up His amazing teaching in my life.  I have been renewed and my faith restored, not in people, but in Jesus.  I'm so glad for what He has been doing in my life and the lessons I have learned.  My faith is stronger then its ever been and I feel stronger than I ever have.  I'm empowered and I am the Lord's child.

I don't know what the day will hold today but I do know that Jesus is with me every step of the way.  The things that used to be so important to me are gone and replaced is a sense to love people.  That's really all I want to do.  I want to spread the love God has shown me to the world and I want to be known as someone that has great faith.  I've always had it for others but now I know that the faith I believe for others lives in me.  It has been tested and I would be wrong if I didn't say it was a painful lesson but in it's place is an understanding that I can't do anything alone and that Jesus is walking beside me.

I'm grateful for this journey even if its painful.  I'm grateful that I can love but I'm most grateful that my God believed in me enough to set my feet on the path toward him and continues to mold me and make me His.  I'm amazed, humbled and so very grateful.

My prayer for you as you read this is that God will become the Lord of your heart and that your faith will be restored, not in man, but in Him!

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Watching the beauty of a wedding...

Good morning all-

Last night I had the honor of watching one of my co-workers marry a very special man.  They both have been through a lot.  There past is what made them who they are and because of that past they have learned to love.  If you love to be in love, you will be I promise.

Love is talked about in the Bible many times and is the greatest commandment.  We think of love as romantic love but its so much more than that.  This couple shares an agape love.  It consists of being kind and patient, of loving when things aren't easy and it is surrounded by God.

During the ceremony, I thought of the path of tears that happened before the road to happiness.  I thought of the loss and the times of fear and I thought how great our God truly is.  My co-worker has been given a gift far beyond what people treasure today.  She has been given a gift from God and I know she knows it.

Getting married is a very important decision.  You must be able to trust and to be vulnerable.  You must be whole and one hundred percent committed.  This man didn't just marry a woman, he married a family and from the very beginning took it on as if each of the children was his own.  It gave me hope for every woman that has experienced a difficult road and it was beautiful.

I wish everyone could have that kind of love and commitment.  It's my prayer that what I saw yesterday would be spread across this earth.  As women, our prayer should be that we love with all our hearts and that the men we marry would trust God in all things. 

My last thought as they completed their vows was, "Love never ends."  It was the last thought I had as I put my parents wedding rings into our lock box.  My father was such a man.  He took on the challenge of a daughter and loved my mom to the very end.  He was my mom's greatest gift and their love has always given me hope.  God loves us in a way no human can love but we are still called to love with all our heart.  I hope for a day that I love like that.

May God bless your marriage today as you read about this very incredible union.  God loves you and He looks out for you and if you aren't married or don't have this kind of marriage, you have a God that loves you far beyond this earth.  He loved you before you were born.

Blessings to the beautiful couple I watched bind their lives together yesterday and blessings to everyone that loves with all their hearts.