Good morning all-
Well it's been two years since I watched my dad slowly take a turn for the worst. I took the opportunity to read the words I wrote on 11/11/11. You can read them if you wish, they are posted on my November 12th blog 2012. It was hard to go back and to read my cries for help. I felt so helpless and really had no where to turn but to Jesus. I feared that I had failed and in many ways I did. It took a 21 year old to stand on his faith and begin to speak of Jesus. I will never forget that conversation or the time that passed. Austin felt called to witness to his bpa while the rest of us shook with fear.
Those days that I sat with him were some of the most torturous of my life because I was helpless. He was dying never knowing Jesus all because I wasn't brave enough to tell him my deepest feelings. I know he knew though and for that, I'm thankful. This week has brought back lots of memories for me. He was an outstanding human being, not to mention a wonderful husband and father. He didn't know The Lord until those last days on earth but he practiced love, kindness, patience and sacrifice. He was my hero on earth and the reason I can love Jesus so deeply.
When I look over the last seven years lots of thoughts and feelings come to mind but the thing that's most on my mind is the deep conviction my loss has given me to spread Jesus's love. Fear has no room in my life anymore. If you don't agree with my conviction I'm going to love you anyway but I'm going to stand up and proclaim it!
I have been very blessed. I'm not sure my brother realizes that a day after my dads favorite day and the marker for his decline from this earth, he was baptized as a son of Christ. Someone stood up and ministered and proclaimed the name of Jesus! I know that not everyone is called to stand up and preach but we are called to speak on what God has done in our life. I'm speaking now and praising Him for His majesty!
So whether my life feels wonderful really doesn't matter because The Lord has done great things for us! Be blessed my sisters and tell the good news. No one should wait until only dreams can save a man. I learned that the hard way and yet, I was blessed then too.
He does great things that ⌊we⌋ cannot understand and miracles that ⌊we⌋ cannot count. (Job 5:9 GW)
Remember we are not here for ourselves, we are here for His glory just as the Son came to earth and sacrificed His life, we must do the same. There is no greater treasures whether it be gold or fame than to be in the presence of Jesus!
Be well today.
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