I woke up with lots of things on my mind today and all I could hear in my head is the song, You Raise Me Up. Weird, I haven't heard that song or sang it in awhile and yet, it is in my mind as I write. I could guess why that particular song is going through my mind but in the end, I think it's Jesus's way of saying, "I'm with you." Tomorrow will be my brother's birthday. He left this earth at 38 and he is very missed.
My sorrow is not as poignant as it was when he died six years ago. It's a whisper in the wind now. I have learned to cope with the loss of someone I love but the memories still roll on. He was an inspiration to the family, he loved and we loved him. Loss, no matter how difficult is a part of this world. It creeps in when no one expects it and if you don't have something to cling too; I don't know how you get through it. In my hour of need, the Lord has raised me up and as always, I am grateful.
There have been many times in the last 6 years I wanted to fade away, run from my circumstances and crawl into bed, wishing the world away. I'm not a depressed person by nature. I can find the good in about everything and on the outside, you probably would never know how much the loss of the last 6 years has impacted my life, but it has. In those hours when I was alone, I would share with Jesus my heart. People in general don't know what to say when you lose someone and when you lose three in 5 years, people really don't know what to say. So where did I go when thoughts of sorrow came to me, I went to my Father and thanked Him for all the wonderful things He has done.
Without Him, I would be lost like so many are today. I would run to drugs, alcohol, or any other thing that would help me escape reality. It's what humans do when they are hurt and lost. I can honestly say that in those hours, He was enough for me. For that, I must always thank Him for helping me be strong enough to resist the temptations of this world. Does that mean it's been easy? No, the journey has been difficult but I found Jesus in a whole new way and I pray you will too.
They say, "Time heals all wounds." If Jesus is in the middle it does. Jesus is the key. He is our hiding place. We must trust in Him and hope in a future that He is guiding. The world is negative and void of compassion. People are purposefully hurtful and when you see an act of kindness, you're stunned. Today, I share this not to depress anyone but to encourage everyone. We live in an evil world but we have a heavenly Father that loves us. We are lifted up by Him and He encourages us. He gives us places to rest and lifts us on eagle wings. He is our strength and our comforter. He knows us, our faults, our strengths and our hearts. He hears us in the darkness and ministers to us right where we are.
Today, He is calling all of us to be His hands and feet. We are to minister to His people but as we push forward we must know where our hiding place is. He is our shield, our rock, our deliverer. Of course, I still miss my brother and parents horribly. But I have learned that Jesus is my strength and when I'm lost, He's there guiding me and loving me. He lifts me up. I pray He does the same for you today!
Psalm 119:114 NKJV:
You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Your word.
2 Samuel 22:2 NKJV:
And he said: The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
Psalm 18:2 NKJV:
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
My prayer today:
O, Lord, You are merciful and just! You are amazing and we are so blessed to be Your chosen. By the cross, we have been redeemed and we have You to thank. You are the air we breathe, the light we see and the strength that raises us up when we are weak. You call us by name and we are known as Your children. In our hour of need, You come to us comforting us and hearing our cries to You. We are Your vessels to mold, to shape, and to spread the Gospel. We were once lost but You found us and gave us a hiding place. You placed us on Your wings and we soar today because of You. We come before You, praying for the masses. Please bring the broken and lost to us. We know they are out there and all they need to hear is how You raised us up. We are indebted to You and so thankful that we have a Father that loves us, not just when we need Him but always. Unite women all over the world to praise and love You. Help us to spread the word without fear. We want to dedicate our lives to You today and in the future. You are our rock, our fortress, and we will stand with You! Protect us, O, Lord, as we share Your glory to the world. We pray this in Jesus name, AMEN