Good morning all-
Today my heart grows heavy for two young woman. They are facing one of the greatest challenges in a woman's life. Today, they will lose their mother. I wasn't sure I would even be able to sleep last night because my heart was heavy and my mind was thinking back to the day I touched my mom's lifeless body. It will be three years this December. I thought my life would end that day. She had been my mother and my friend. She had taken care of my boys and supported me when I most needed it. She was a great mother and I was truly blessed. Not all of us get that in this life. I realize that as I talk to people but for me, she was my hero.
If I look back almost twenty years I can see my sister-in-law's mother playing with them in the pool, taking them for walks, reading to them and loving them. Fast forward and even they weren't enough to keep her on this earth. So today, I will walk up to the ICU once again and say good-bye to someone that is vitally important to this family. We haven't been friends for years, which I am kicking myself for now, but hopefully as she heard me speak about Jesus, she accepted.
This day, this event, reminds me that there are people suffering all over the world with depression and thoughts of suicide. This will be the third for my husband's family. My prayer today is that God will reveal those lost souls that need Him and that we will hear the call. Nothing can be done to change a mind if it believes suicide is the only way but Jesus. The pit of despair is real. I have watched successful Christians fall into the pit and it takes many months of prayer and support to see them through. My husband suffers from it and it steals hope and joy. I wish for a world without pain but then; that won't happen until Jesus returns, so for now, please respond to the call and ask God to bring those souls forward.
I'm hoping there is victory today. I hope that when I asked her to close her eyes and pray with me, she did and in that moment she found Jesus. I'm hoping that today she will die peacefully and be on the streets of gold. I'm praying for her to know the hand of God. And in the same breath, I'm crying out to Jesus and asking that He protect her girls. The girls she once loved, nurtured and mothered. I'm praying that through this tragedy Jesus will win more souls and that the suicidal pattern in this family will come to an end. I'm praying for a hedge of protection on souls I don't even know and I'm asking God to continue to call His people to His side.
I'm not mighty and I don't have any power but I do have Jesus. I am confident in His call and will continue to pray for His peace on this earth as long as I live. I'm praying that each generation that hears His call will be bold and not apathetic. That we will pray for the lost and that we will minister to the weak. I'm praying that even in this moment, His victory is seen.
I feel helpless right now. There are no words of comfort. I can't take the guilt or the anger away for these girls. I am not their mother but I am their sister and I won't leave their side. Please pray that I will have the strength to minister to these girls, to be faithful all my days and to help them through the grief that will surely come. This wasn't an accident or a health issue; this was the making of evil. It took a life far before it should have but in my heart I know Christ has control and my hope is that it will be revealed to both girls.
If you have suffered a loss because of suicide, I am deeply sorry. I know the feelings that come and the shame of not saving a life. I know the helplessness and the anger that comes from not realizing that someone was hurting that bad but in the end, I always go back to Jesus.
If you are contemplating suicide or are deeply depressed, please get help. You're not alone. I know you think you are but you're not. People care about you. Jesus cares about you. You have great purpose if you will just confess your thoughts and feelings. Help is near, there are centers, and medical people that can help but you have to ask. There is victory in Jesus but you must meet Him and know Him and He will deliver you!
Psalm 25:20 NKJV:
Keep my soul, and deliver me; let me not be ashamed, for I put my trust in You.
Isaiah 43:13 NKJV:
Indeed before the day was, I am He; and there is no one who can deliver out of My hand; I work, and who will reverse it?
My prayer today:
You, O, Lord are the only God. Your work is mighty. You come before us and save us from our own iniquity. You lie in wait and call Your people. You sit by still waters and calm our fears. You fight for us in a realm we don't understand. You minister to our souls. Our souls belong to You. We are Your people. Deliver those that are hurting today for they need a Savior. There is none but You! I know in every battle someone is the victor and I pray today the trumpets will sound and another of Your soldiers will come home. I pray for all of us, in every nation, to cry out to You for the lost and in despair. Millions are waiting to be called and only a few voices are speaking and proclaiming the hope that lies in You. I am weak but You are strong. Lead us and guide us by Your side. Help us to see with Your eyes and to love with Your heart. We are flesh and often fail the call but today, I'm asking that we would hear You and protect the sheep You love. Today, I'm praying that one hurt soul cries out to You and says, "Take me home." I'm praying for families that are suffering from grief that You will heal their hearts. I know that in time You will wipe their tears. I will never understand how anyone gets through this world without You, so I come before You asking for a revival. Bring men, women and children unto You and deliver us from this evil world. Make Yourself known in every tongue and continue to grow us as we seek Your face. You are mighty and we are weak. We need You in every aspect of our human lives. We give them freely to You today. Please protect the weak, the young, the hurting, the desperate, the lost, they need YOU! In Jesus name, AMEN