Good morning all-
I have a lot on my mind today so I finished one blog to start another. Hopefully, it's worth your time to read both or like me, you will come back and read it later. I have a little more time on my hands this morning and I woke up with this on my heart so I thought if I could finish the blog I started yesterday and then sit and write this one, God would multiply the rest of my day.
Yesterday, I took the day off and spent it cleaning areas of my house I hate to clean, like closets. I hate to clean and yet that's all I do. I have to pick up, clean dishes, do the laundry and then it starts all over again. I don't know why I spend so much time complaining about it in my head but I do. That's a problem in itself but on with the story.
I went in search of a new vacuum cleaner and one store didn't have it, so I decided to go out and search for it. During that time, I had a really good friend on my mind and noticed she liked the blog on Facebook so I decided to call her. She is such a wonderful person. If you met her on the street you would notice her because she has a big smile and always shines like the sun. She is not only beautiful outside but radiates beauty on the inside. For the last three years she has struggled in her marriage and now, her daughter is four, she's wore out, fallen out of love and moving towards a divorce and all I could think of is,"there goes another one down." What do I mean by that? I mean a family, broken, hurt and sad. Why? Because one person couldn't stop drinking, yelling or being critical and the other lost faith in Him. The scars are not visible to the outside world. No one would know that her marriage is failing or that she has endured endless hours and years of verbal abuse, all they would see is her smile. Funny how we can keep our darkest secrets and let the world only see what we want them to see.
I know what it's like to go out and put a smile on your face when your marriage is crumbling. I know what it's like to try to make a man happy only to feel like you somehow are destroying him with every look and every word. It's crazy. The man that was your hero brought down by you. After a while you begin to think so and then you get angry and lastly you're done. People try counseling but it's just too late. They have done the circle of abuse for too long only to find out to late that all you really wanted was that person from the beginning.
A marriage and the vows that come with it are not to be taken lightly. It is a commitment on both parties part to honor and treasure one another. Often, Satan turns those words into malice, hate, and abandonment. Drinking, drugs, anger and abuse come from what once was passion. A man marries a woman because they fall in love. They really love the fact that you respect them and hold them up. They feel like they could do no wrong in your sight until one day their actions change that and the destruction begins. In the Bible, God does not talk about a man's love like He does for a woman. He talks about respect. If you think about it that's how it all begins. My mom always said that mutual respect was the key to having a good marriage and since my parents had a great one, I know she's right. The Bible talks about respecting our husbands but it's hard to respect someone that doesn't even respect themselves. That's where I think our men need help.
I'm petitioning all of you to begin a campaign of respect. I would like us all to do two things: pray for our men to have courage and for women to respect men. These two things will be vital in our fight against the devil. He is destroying marriage as I write. I have also felt His hand in my marriage. He seeks to destroy that which God intended. Many wonder why secular couples stay married longer than Christian couples. I don't. I know that if he can destroy what God has put together; He destroys generations.
Whether you believe that divorce is good or bad doesn't matter. There are times where divorce is the only way to save oneself. The world is getting uglier day by day and women are at the heart of this destruction. We see women being used as human bombs. Children walking the streets to be put as targets to soldiers and soldiers coming home wanting to destroy themselves for the things they had to do. We are in a world where wars are common and death and destruction are inevitable but there is hope. The same hope we place our hearts in is with us now. He watches over us and intercedes but we are at the core of the fight, so ladies let's fight. I'm tired of hearing of marriages falling apart and that includes mine. I'm fighting against something I can't see and yet I know it's right in front of me. I can feel the attacks before they even begin and when they get strong, my defenses weaken and all kinds of things creep in. We can't continue hoping things will get better for our men or ourselves. We must pray for the covenant that men and women are taking. We must pray that our men will not get discouraged and will wage a war against the flesh and evil. We must stand up for our families and ask Christ to do a miracle. Not every marriage will be saved, I know that but I think we have a better chance if we are praying for them. In addition, we must pray for our hearts. When we go to battle, it's easy for the enemy to destroy us first. We are geared more towards love and feelings so it's easier to tear us down and once we are bare, there's nothing left.
I know this is a long blog today but I had to get this out. Jesus is the answer. All the words in the world don't add up to our Mighty Savior. He can heal the hurt, change a heart and mend a broken marriage. He can provide courage where only cowardice reigns and He can take what Satan would destroy and lift it up. I know because He's done it countless times in my life. I have felt His hand in my darkest hours and I have heard Him say in my head, be obedient, I am here. Do you know how hard is it do that when every drop of feeling is gone? Well, I have countless times and He has renewed, restored, and brought me to a place of great faith. This fight is bigger than one woman. It's going to take men and women fighting against an enemy they can't see and trusting in the blood of Jesus. We are one and we must pray as one to fight for our families, for our children and for the next generation. Many marriages succeed, why? Because at the heart of each marriage there was a friendship, a sacrifice and a true commitment to die to oneself. Christ was in the middle and the woman was treasured and the man respected. My favorite thing about going out is to see the couples walking around that are in their 70s, 80s and 90s, holding hands, eating dinner together or just being. They make my heart glad. That's how my parents would have been. At my dad's funeral, I held up their two wedding bands that I had strung together with a purple ribbon. They now sit in a safe deposit box but they are my guide to what marriage is. For all the marriages that are broken, there are those that lasted a lifetime. I can only walk today and fight the battle one day at a time but that keepsake reminds me that God is present and that marriage is worth fighting for.
For those of you that are reading this blog that have been divorced, please know I understand and sometimes people make choices that leave you with only one option. God is merciful and understands. I pray for you that you will continue to seek Him and if He sends someone in your direction to love and care for you that you take it.
I hope today finds you well and that you find hope for yourself in these words. God is right here. He's fighting along side us but we must fight too. We have to fight our minds, our flesh and our enemy and the only way we can do that is to give our hearts and minds to Christ.
Ezra 10:4 NIV
Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it."
Phillipians 1:20 NIV
I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.
Ephesians 5:33 NIV
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
My prayer today:
O, Lord, I come to you today with a whole lot on my mind. I feel like I have spit up all over this page and I ask that You would make known what's on Your heart. I would ask that You would unite women all over the world to pray for marriage whether they are today or not. I would ask that You would help us be the women that respect men and that we would continue to lift them up. I believe that men are being attacked and that families are suffering. You are the only one that can fix the messes we place into our hearts and minds. Give us all courage to stay the course, to love You and to put You in the middle of all of our relationships. I am not discouraged because I know that You are fighting right beside me for the good of the family and You will continue to until we meet face to face. We are Your children and You love us with all our flaws. Be with us today as we unite for the good of marriage. Lift up our children and their children and help us all make wise decisions. Give us strength to die to ourselves and replace it with the things that matter to YOU! We are Your children and so I'm asking for protection, for one mind and for You to give us the knowledge and understanding to win this great war! May we seek You daily, love You more and be faithful to Your cause. You are the light and all we need today. Thank You for being everything we aren't. In Jesus Name, AMEN