Have you ever wondered what would happen if God just granted our every desire? I'm not sure why I've been thinking about that one question so much but I have. Recently, I picked up one of Beth Moore's studies and I'm going through the Psalms of Ascent. It's eye opening in the sense that I've been through a time where God needed to change me and make me new and so I think the passage makes so more sense then it did before I went through that trial.
There are so many things I've dreamed of in my life. I wanted a faithful husband and I have one. I wanted to be a princess and instead I'm a working girl. I wanted a daughter and instead I got two beautiful sons. I wanted to take care of my parents financially but they both died before I could do that. I wanted to be a manager of people which I achieved but with some hard knocks along the way.
There are always things people have in their hearts. We want to run before we can walk, that's the nature of the sin in our heart. God called us to walk first, right? Otherwise we would have a million 10-12 month olds running before they walked and we would never keep up. There is order in everything and yet, most think they know what's best for their lives, when in reality only God knows.
It took me the last nine months to realize that God was before me. It also took me that long to realize that I like who I am and I'm not going to change it. And finally, it took me that long to realize that it was best for God to get His way over my way. He had the answer, the timing and the direction all along. Thank you Jesus for not letting me have my way!
David has always been one of my most favorite people in the Bible because I recognize him as a Hero, a King, an Adulterer and a man after God's own heart. Take a moment and read those words again, do you see the painted picture? He had it all and then committed sin and then became a man after God's own heart. When I read the words in the Psalms, I get the picture of a man who knew how to be on His knees. I get his struggles, his need to seek wisdom and His unbelievable knack to cry out to God, not just when he needed Him but every time he needed God. I know I don't always do that and there are religions that teach you not to do that. They call it selfish, right? Well then tell me how a man after God's own heart was selfish in doing so, I don't think our Father would agree.
It's when we are on our knees thinking about the Scripture and one with Jesus that I believe He shows us why we didn't get what we wanted. I think it's in the silence when no one knows what we're doing that we find the answers to the perplexity of this life. I believe there is a holy battle over your life and your either going to let God go before you with all the answers or your going to choose the path that makes you run before you walk, which is not the way God intended. Countries will eventually be crushed if they don't turn toward God, floods of great magnitude will wipe out generations if we don't turn to God, financial empires will be crushed if we don't turn to God and unfortunately for us, when we want to be spoiled and secure in the world we won't see God's hand guiding us through the rough waters and the spiritual battles.
I'm done being my own direction driver. It hasn't done much for me. Oh, I have achieved what the world sees as good but I would rather receive the lesson I learned this year because my eyes are focused on something far greater than myself. I'm glad He didn't deliver everything to me I asked for because I needed to be tested, tried and put into a situation where He was the only foundation I needed. I've learned many things through this trial but what I've learned most of all is being humble, setting my feet firmly in Scripture and repentance which is more important than being the greatest mom, the top salesman, the greatest accountant or the best manager, those are worldly things. Don't get me wrong, I'm always going to strive for those things because that's who God made me. And yet, I hope I've learned a lesson that I will take to my grave. I hope that I've learned that God will make me walk when I want to run. He will make me quiet when I want to defend. He will give me wisdom when I want to commit folly and He will build my house. All I have to do is submit.
Rejoice if God has not given you your way. It might be the one lesson that propels you to greatness. In those dark moments I wasn't rejoicing I can promise you that but then I remembered David and I'm sure he had many dark moments seeking our Father in Heaven. It's in the Psalms that we find a man after God's own heart and if I had to fight an inner battle between flesh and God, it was worth not getting my way. I don't have to worry about the battle because God fights for me. He is for me! Do you realize what that means? If He's for this sinner, He's for you too. Take a moment to think about all the things He has done, were they worthy? Did He change your heart, your mind, your direction? I think if we really look at the impact of what He has shown us along the way, we will see that our direction or really our desires were important to us but not important to His plan.
God delivers us even when we aren't seeing. That's my comfort and that's why I've rejoiced in giving up my direction to walk instead of run. His plan is PERFECT, ours never is.
May God bless you with these words and may you see what He's trying to show you today. These words are mine but His will can take them and make them into someone's lifeline. I hope He does that for you today as He has for me this year.
Psalm 124 KJV
If it had not been the Lord who was on our side, now may Israel say;
If it had not been the Lord who was on our side, when men rose up against us:
Then they had swallowed us up quick, when their wrath was kindled against us:
Then the waters had overwhelmed us, the stream had gone over our soul:
Then the proud waters had gone over our soul.
Blessed be the Lord, who hath not given us as a prey to their teeth.
Our soul is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowlers: the snare is broken, and we are escaped.
Our help is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth.