Good afternoon my beautiful sisters-
I come before you a lamb of God and guess what so are you! This week is one of those weeks you wish you could rewind back in time and say," Hold, stop and don't go forward." On Monday I was laid off without any warning and found out my youngest son's secrets. All in one week! Oh and it's going to be Easter tomorrow and I'm supposed to be concentrating on why I'm here in the first place.
If you're reading this and you are thinking, that's me exactly, I feel you. It seems Christians all around the world are facing incredible hardships. Some are starving, some are in war, some are mourning loved ones and some are being persecuted. The news reads of ISIS, hatred and mass chaos and all I can think about is me. Not a pretty picture but a true representation.
That's until I read a post by Beth Moore and then another from Anne Graham Lotz and my point of focus changed. It was slow at first but as the week wore on, I started seeing Jesus everywhere. He was in the sky as the clouds rolled in on the back of 35 mile an hour winds. He was heard in the singing of all the birds dancing in the sunshine and frolicking in the trees. He was in my head saying, "I'm here." And of course, He was in the Scripture I turned to about His will being released to His Fathers and in the coming events toward Good Friday. He's been everywhere, at least when I've come out of myself.
As I walked my dog today, I felt Him in every step. I thought of footprints and how he carries us when we don't know it. I thought about how much I have learned to trust Him in the dark and look for the light even when a door closes and man did it close this week. I never saw it coming. And it was as tears flowed down my face and I realized it was wet that I knew that this door closed for a reason.
As I sit writing I can tell you two things: I'm human and I'm scared to death. I can tell you that I have been in mighty prayer for my oldest son to get a job and for my youngest to confess what was keeping him in the dark. I can confess that I've been hurt, angry and totally in shock. I'm 51 years old and what am I supposed to do now? That's the question that is turning and burning in my mind and yet, in the quiet there is this peace that I can't explain. It's like when a storm hits and all the animals are quiet, that's how my heart feels and it continues to ask, if this door closes, what's next?
So here I am a week into a journey that caught me by surprise and I'm thinking it's time to quit feeling sorry for myself and to concentrate on the one who made me. So instead of a state of bliss, I'm once again in a powerful spiritual battle. Have you ever been in this place? Have you had a door slam in your face when you least expected it? Have you wondered, what in the world just happened? Well then, I guess you live on this earth because it's happening to humans in every nation.
I definitely don't have all the answers and for me, this isn't the last of my little pity party I'm sure. The door was slammed and I have to trust that God knows best and He will move me forward with purpose and thanksgiving. In the meantime, I have to hold onto the truth of Jesus Christ's life and resurrection. I have to take one day at a time and ask His will to be my will. I have to confront my fears and live with courage. I must believe that He knows why He shut that door and I have to continue to pray for the nations, for peace and for God to return to His people.
My bubble just burst. My next action has to be to repent, forgive and take courage in the face of my loss. It's time to move on to moving mountains and asking until I get an answer. So that's where I stand on the eve of the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. My fingers are typing while the wind howls and the clouds roll in. And I'm here asking the Lord to reveal to me His purpose and forgive me once again for all my sins. I'm far from perfect and once again, this week has taught me that life happens and sometimes it just doesn't feel good.
Please join me in prayer for every family that is going through loss, for every child that doesn't have food, for our leaders to be wise during this heightened time of hate and fear. Jesus was born in a time not much different than this. He might not have experienced a super bomb like MOAB or warships with planes but He knew they were coming. He knew that there would be tension between nations and that there would be rumors of wars. He knew that He would have to hang on a cross for my sins and He did it sacrificially. He did it so that we might have hope, light and eternity. If you're facing trying times and blaming God, I would ask you to praise Him instead. We think we know what's good for us but we don't. We live in a time where everyone thinks they are smarter and wiser than the almighty and we aren't. And if like me, you've just had a door close, let's take hope that He has an even better door for us to open and walk through.
Romans 8:34 - Who [is] he that condemneth? [It is] Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.
1 Corinthians 15:20 - But now is Christ risen from the dead, [and] become the firstfruits of them that slept.
Romans 14:9 - For to this end Christ both died, and rose, and revived, that he might be Lord both of the dead and living.
To my Lord and Savior may your peace rain down on this earth and may your kingdom come and your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Happy Easter everyone! Jesus is the reason we live, glorify the trinity and like me bow down to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.