Good morning my sisters-
As I write I'm looking out into a beautiful forest, full of flowers, raspberries and little fawns wandering a dense area right next to my aunt's house. Out in the backyard the birds are signing praising the heavenly father for all the wonderful blessings He bestows. A chipmunk peeks out to let you know he's there and then disappears back into safety and I sit and watch the wonder of the world right here in my aunt's house. She is my last living relative of my mom's core family. She has outlived everyone by almost 10 years. She knows loss like none other and yet, daily, challenged with an insurmountable disease that has made her legs virtually unusable, I watch her take every step with courage.
My aunt is an accomplished author, a counselor and a world traveler. She has skied in the finest winter and summer resorts, walked, exercised and worked hard to build her core for such a day as this. The day has come when her legs don't do what she needs them to do. They are weak but she is strong. Remember that song we used to sing about Jesus. We are weak but he is strong. I'm paraphrasing of course but that's what I see in a person that tells herself she can do it, even when the odds are completely against her.
Life is a difficult journey. It's hard and the pain can sometimes be overwhelming. I rode on an airplane this week with a Make A Wish child and my heart hurt for her parents. They were her team and she was excited about her journey. The strain on the parents faces was palpable. They are probably going to lose her and yet the journey was meant to bring hope and light in the midst of darkness. Those parents are gearing up to lose their daughter. The trip allows them to hold onto the memories of when they were one and when they are weak, it will be this journey they hold until they see her again. This is one of many stories of loss and for them all, they must go on just like my aunt does on a daily basis.
My aunt is a lot like my mom. She is a warrior of great magnitude. They fight like I've never seen women fight and it makes me wonder where my warrior is sometimes. Why don't I have the courage to write the book God has called me to write? Why don't I seize every moment to proclaim His name? Why don't I feel good enough to travel the world and speak about Him with honor and glory? Why can't I be like the warriors I have seen?
I don't have all those answers. I wish I did. Thank goodness He gives me grace and encourages me in the dark hours to be all that I can be. He reminds me that none of it is about me, it's all about Him. And yet, sometimes I wonder, am I good enough? The memories I carry are in the Bible of Him and the disciples roaming the lands to bring followers unto Him. I'm sure the disciples had no idea of the loss they would feel when He left this earth and yet, we know from their story there was much loss, confusion, and the inability to move. That is, until He came back and gave them purpose.
We all lose things that we value. It could be a parent, a child, a friend, money or your health. Each person has his/her own journey. My hope is that with loss the memories of what once was will light our path to the glorious creator. When we do this, our focus will come off of ourselves and move toward the father who lights the way. God takes care of all living things from the beautiful fawn to you and me. He knows our trials, our hurts, our challenges and our inner most thoughts. He laughs with us, cries with us and holds us in our lightest and darkest hours. He is the King of King and Lord of Lords and for the life of me I don't know why he chose me but I am so very thankful.
So if you are in a time of great need or you're out having the vacation of your lifetime, I hope you look up and thank the Lord our God who created everything under the sun. Life is a series of events and luckily, we all are on the journey together. Whether we are a warrior today or a sea turtle floating along the bottom of the wide ocean, we are His and He is near. Our memories of what He accomplished in His 33 years stand today. Every day, someone out there is coming to Him and proclaiming that He is God. My prayer is that the one who reads this will see in the words not what I have written--they will see Him.
Thank you for those that hit this blog. My prayer is that I will continue on to fight the good fight and to be the woman Jesus has asked me to be so that through me, He can show you His light. Be well my sisters and know that I am praying.
Isaiah 40:30-31 New American Standard Bible
30Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, 31Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.