The unknown..the unseen...the God of the Universe

Good morning all-

Several weeks ago I was laid off from a job I absolutely loved.  My journey to that opportunity started with me leaving my current employer to embrace whatever God had for me.  I had never left a job without a job.  I also have never been laid off.  In my career, I have been through at least a dozen layoffs and in each one I kept my job, so you can imagine how surprised I was when I had just completed back to back shows for this company, only to find myself jobless.

I am human so the questions started coming one after one.  What was God up to?  How did this happen? Why didn't I see it coming?  Why? Why? Why?  If you have ever been in this position you know exactly what I'm talking about. Vulnerability hits you like a hammer and your mind goes to self-defeating shame, fear and a myriad of questions. All that and more came upon me and I embraced each one with the tenacity I take on a challenge and before I knew it I was trying to turn those feelings into opportunity.  But the vulnerability made me feel weak, emotional and completely sad.  I loved this job. I loved the technology, the vision and the idea that I would be selling something that would protect people and the environment. That excited me. The other thing that excited me is that I might be a millionaire. Most people on the ground floor of a start up with a good product will become millionaires and believed that I was on a journey toward security.

Well security is not in my cards obviously, at least not worldly security.  I once again lost sight of the fact that God was in control of my life and my life is a canvas to encourage others away from the world and toward the only security we have, eternal life through Jesus Christ. Wow! Did it take a loss for me to see this once again? I would say that it did and the only good news I can report is I didn't see it as a punishment from God, I am looking at it as a faith journey.  I never felt angry at God or questioned his authority. I never felt shame because I knew that I had created opportunity and a sales plan that was working. I knew that I had given my all to this company and I was making an impact.  I just didn't see this train coming to a stop and moving this opportunity out of my life. I have to believe that He knows what's best and the only way I really even know He's in it-- is the peace I feel, the Scripture I've read and the odd chess game going on in my head.

My future is unknown. I'm navigating a land I have no experience in. I can't see ahead and my heart feels like I'm in a desert or a row of trees that are so dense, I'm unable to see beyond to the opening I know is there.  I have been praying three things: that I wouldn't have unbelief in my heart; that I wouldn't build a golden calf; and that I would trust like I've never trusted before. I can't hear Him, I can't see Him and in this fog I just have to trust in a God I have never seen. I have to trust in my Father because He tells me to.  I have to believe Jeremiah 29:11, my life verse in the same passionate way I did last year. I need to embrace the challenge to move from the world into the supernatural.  As I write this, I know my prayers are correct and I know that I have been questioning my purpose and why I believe everything is on me.  What am I supposed to learn from this trial?  I have decided to do what God asks of us and take it one day at a time.  I will live in Him by washing my heart with Scripture, asking for my mind to calm and rest in Him. I will trust in the unseen and give everything to Him and like last year, He will deliver me and I will grow in Him.

I know how scary the unknown is. I know how disheartening the storm is but I refuse to not hope for a future that is propelled by the God of the Universe. And as you read this, I pray that you too will release your fears, your insecurities and your future to Jesus Christ.  He never put His security in the world, He put it into His Father's will and that's where I must put mine too. Life is short and I have a purpose.

So if you were just blown away with bad news, you feel unbelievable shame, you wonder why your life is not going the way you planned it, my hope is you will read this and know that I am just like you but I believe that God loves me and that He will use all of this for His good.  I hope you can trust Him and believe it. Obviously, this doesn't feel good but neither did dying on a cross. He didn't do that for a selfish purpose, He did it to save us and we are blessed because of His sacrifice. He trusted that by giving His cup into the hands of His Father--His life would bless many and it has. In the dark, we must move toward the light, the hope of a new day and Jesus who will guide us through the unknown and into the promise land.

If you don't know who I'm talking about, please ask Him in prayer to reveal Himself.  He is the exact answer you've been waiting for and His people all over the world are going through tremendous trials to show you that He lives, He loves and He forgives. We must believe and we must trust Him.

Here's a few Scriptures that have ministered to me this week. They are:

Proverbs 16: 1-4 NIV

1 To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the proper answer of the tongue.

2 All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the LORD.

3 Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.

4 The LORD works out everything to its proper end— even the wicked for a day of disaster

Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

¹¹For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


May Jesus minister to you the way He has to me.  Thank you Lord for I believe you will show me my way in the dark and you will reveal the unknown for your purpose.

When one door closes...

Good afternoon my beautiful sisters-

I come before you a lamb of God and guess what so are you!  This week is one of those weeks you wish you could rewind back in time and say," Hold, stop and don't go forward."  On  Monday I was laid off without any warning and found out my youngest son's secrets.  All in one week!  Oh and it's going to be Easter tomorrow and I'm supposed to be concentrating on why I'm here in the first place.

If you're reading this and you are thinking, that's me exactly, I feel you.  It seems Christians all around the world are facing incredible hardships.  Some are starving, some are in war, some are mourning loved ones and some are being persecuted.  The news reads of ISIS, hatred and mass chaos and all I can think about is me.  Not a pretty picture but a true representation.

That's until I read a post by Beth Moore and then another from Anne Graham Lotz and my point of focus changed.  It was slow at first but as the week wore on, I started seeing Jesus everywhere.  He was in the sky as the clouds rolled in on the back of 35 mile an hour winds.  He was heard in the singing of all the birds dancing in the sunshine and frolicking in the trees.  He was in my head saying, "I'm here."  And of course, He was in the Scripture I turned to about His will being released to His Fathers and in the coming events toward Good Friday. He's been everywhere, at least when I've come out of myself.

As I walked my dog today, I felt Him in every step.  I thought of footprints and how he carries us when we don't know it.  I thought about how much I have learned to trust Him in the dark and look for the light even when a door closes and man did it close this week.  I never saw it coming. And it was as tears flowed down my face and I realized it was wet that I knew that this door closed for a reason.

As I sit writing I can tell you two things: I'm human and I'm scared to death.  I can tell you that I have been in mighty prayer for my oldest son to get a job and for my youngest to confess what was keeping him in the dark.  I can confess that I've been hurt, angry and totally in shock. I'm 51 years old and what am I supposed to do now?  That's the question that is turning and burning in my mind and yet, in the quiet there is this peace that I can't explain.  It's like when a storm hits and all the animals are quiet, that's how my heart feels and it continues to ask, if this door closes, what's next?

So here I am a week into a journey that caught me by surprise and I'm thinking it's time to quit feeling sorry for myself and to concentrate on the one who made me. So instead of a state of bliss, I'm once again in a powerful spiritual battle. Have you ever been in this place?  Have you had a door slam in your face when you least expected it?  Have you wondered, what in the world just happened?  Well then, I guess you live on this earth because it's happening to humans in every nation.

I definitely don't have all the answers and for me, this isn't the last of my little pity party I'm sure. The door was slammed and I have to trust that God knows best and He will move me forward with purpose and thanksgiving.  In the meantime, I have to hold onto the truth of Jesus Christ's life and resurrection. I have to take one day at a time and ask His will to be my will. I have to confront my fears and live with courage. I must believe that He knows why He shut that door and I have to continue to pray for the nations, for peace and for God to return to His people.

My bubble just burst. My next action has to be to repent, forgive and take courage in the face of my  loss. It's time to move on to moving mountains and asking until I get an answer. So that's where I stand on the eve of the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  My fingers are typing while the wind howls and the clouds roll in. And I'm here asking the Lord to reveal to me His purpose and forgive me once again for all my sins. I'm far from perfect and once again, this week has taught me that life happens and sometimes it just doesn't feel good.

Please join me in prayer for every family that is going through loss, for every child that doesn't have food, for our leaders to be wise during this heightened time of hate and fear.  Jesus was born in a time not much different than this. He might not have experienced a super bomb like MOAB or warships with planes but He knew they were coming. He knew that there would be tension between nations and that there would be rumors of wars. He knew that He would have to hang on a cross for my sins and He did it sacrificially.  He did it so that we might have hope, light and eternity.  If you're facing trying times and blaming God, I would ask you to praise Him instead.  We think we know what's good for us but we don't.  We live in a time where everyone thinks they are smarter and wiser than the almighty and we aren't. And if like me, you've just had a door close, let's take hope that He has an even better door for us to open and walk through.

Romans 8:34 - Who [is] he that condemneth? [It is] Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.

1 Corinthians 15:20 - But now is Christ risen from the dead, [and] become the firstfruits of them that slept.

Romans 14:9 - For to this end Christ both died, and rose, and revived, that he might be Lord both of the dead and living.

To my Lord and Savior may your peace rain down on this earth and may your kingdom come and your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Happy Easter everyone!  Jesus is the reason we live, glorify the trinity and like me bow down to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

Prayer leads to faith...

Good morning all-

How are you today?  I hope you woke up with thanksgiving in your heart?  I sure did. I find waking up praising Him gives me courage to face the challenges of the day and there are always challenges. This morning as I woke, I opened my devotional and read about Daniel and how his prayer was in motion but there were stop points that kept it from happening. It was going to happen just like God said but it took time, more time than probably he wanted.

Have you ever been in a  situation where you've prayed  hard and months and days went by with no answer? I think we all have. Well, there are many reasons for us not getting immediate answers I think.  There are many reasons we might not see our prayers come to fruition. For example, is it part of God's will? Two, if it's in His will, it might not be in our best interest for immediate results and lastly, He loves when we seek Him faithfully so we may have to wait to hear from Him.

It's been my own experience that prayer leads to faith. Like a flower needs the spring rains we need situations in our life to lead to greater faith.  I wish faith was blind but all we have to  do is look at the history of the world and know that it's not.  On top of  that, we want a carefree life, one with the least amount of challenges and the most reward.  Well, sorry to break your bubble, but that's never going to happen. Every person within their lifetime will see challenges and for those of us that know  Christ, we will be on our knees, growing our faith and casting forth His word, or at least I hope that's our response.

I have learned that prayer is a life long education.  I prayed when I was 5 years old. I can remember uttering the Lord's prayer through my teens and when I was really battling the world it was the Lord's prayer that led my boss to ask me to an evangelist meeting and that's where prayer once again brought me to Jesus.  Throughout my life, people have said I have a  direct line to God. I've always brushed it off but I can honestly say it's been my prayer life and praying His will for people that has given those around me strength in dark times, hope in depression, guidance in confusion, and joy in the little things. My rainbows, as I like to call them, happen when God meets the people I'm praying for and they know it.

Prayer is a vital channel to our Lord.  He hears every prayer. My faith has been built in the power of prayer.  I wouldn't be who I am today without hours of prayer for myself and others. I believe there are no selfish prayers.  God knows what we need and if we are praying for the right reasons and they align with His will, we will see it come to fruition. It may take many years but it will come.

Right now, I have a wonderful friend on a spiritual journey.  She may even read this blog today. If you do  my little iron gypsy, I pray that this adventure will bring  you closer, widen your faith and provide all that you need to help people get healthy. You're an inspiration to me and I thank you for your friendship and your willingness to help people renew their bodies and their minds. 

I leave you with this thought today. We aren't praying enough, we aren't loving enough and we aren't believing enough. Open your eyes my sisters to new experiences and never give up! I'm not giving up and either should you!

Matthew 17:14-20

When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before him. “Lord, have mercy on my son,” he said. “He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. I brought him to your disciples, but they could not heal him.”
“O unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me.” Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed from that moment.
Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”
He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

When will He come?

Good morning all-

Have you ever asked yourself the question, "When will He come?" Honestly, I haven't for a long time until I was 35,000 feet in the air and I thought, "Jesus, when will you come?" I'm not sure if it's #Annegrahamlotz# call for us to be looking or just that I'm looking.  Either way I've been asking myself that and many more questions.  Here's just a few:

• Why do we hate God's people?
• Why do we judge others and not ourselves?
• What makes us right in our views when we don't seek God first?
• Who is in authority?
• Do I love myself, my family, my job more than I love Him?
• Have I even started to fulfill my purpose or am I too busy for Him to begin it?
• When did I start believing that being quiet when people need connection is the answer?
• When did I begin to stop dreaming of when He would come?

I want us never to forget why we are here and what we are here to do and that includes me.  We are called to:

• Love God above all things
• Love our neighbor more than ourselves
• Seek and find Him
• Call His people to Him and spread the word
• To live all our days in thanksgiving for we were saved
• In suffering and in abundance
• Until our last breath

Our call is to love Him with all our whole heart.  So with this post today I hope you find Him, I hope you remember why you're here and I hope that God saves all of us.  Please pray for the leaders of every country and for Christians to remember the call and why we live. It's for Him not us.

Loving you my sisters.  May God bless you and keep you all your days.

John 3:16           New International Version (NIV) 

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Lord lead us to You always. Let us not forget why we are here or who we are in authority too. Please begin a revival of hearts in young and old and please help the people hear Your powerful word.

ONE DECISION, ONE CHANCE, NO LOST OPPORTUNITIES...

Good morning all-

This week marks a one year anniversary of me listening to God's voice and leaving a job I loved.  I had been in prayer for over 5 months when the Lord started knocking on my heart to trust in Him with every fiber of my being.  I remember plane rides that were so full of prayer and petition wondering could I do what was written on my heart.  Like the ocean tide these thoughts would flood in and wash out and in the quiet I heard the gentle whisper to jump.

One year later, I jumped!  The Lord has provided in a way that astounds me.  The trial was horrendous and at the same time awe inspiring.  I made one decision, I knew I had one chance and I didn't want to lose the opportunity so with courage from the Holy Spirit, I did all that and was blessed.  The time is now. 

Jesus had the same thing happen to Him.  He had a decision, one chance to save the world but it came at a tremendous cost.  He had to give His life for yours and mine.  I wonder how often His mind raced. I wonder how often He heard the wind whisper trust in Me.  I wonder how long some of His nights were as He realized the magnitude of those days leading up to being crucified.  I believe He did.  He knew that His friends would leave Him and that He lived and taught the man that would prove to be the death of Him and yet, He made one decision, took one chance and lost no opportunity to be the Savior of the World.

I was reading last night an article on President Bush.  He paints portraits of men and women that served Him and He knows them by name.  The portrait will be about courage.  Men putting their own lives and limbs on the line for this country and I was in awe.  He cares that He made one decision that changed the course of many.  There's another man that knows the names of His warriors, Jesus Christ.

I don't know what your going through right now but I know that Jesus does.  You might be in a flood, or in a fire.  You might be in the pit of despair or at the brink of death, make one decision, take one chance and call on Jesus.  He is the Savior of this world.  The world will drag you with it but the power of the cross is active and ready to hear your call.  He waits.  How do I know?  Because throughout my adult journey He waited patiently for me to trust Him enough to resign from a job that paid well. Some might think I did it without realization of what I was doing and to them I would say, not a chance.  I did it by walking side by side daily with my Savior. Over time, my relationship got stronger and my trust became deeper.  That relationship has been one of my most valued possessions and even now as I pray for my family, I am using the tools Jesus taught me to stay strong, to pray with unending fervor and believe that He will see His will to the end.

You are worthy to receive the greatest gift your life will ever know.  Trust in what you can't see. Trust that God our Father knows exactly what you need.  Jesus is not some mindless prophet. He is real and He was the Son of God.  He died for you. He loves you and He knows exactly where you are.  You may be able to hide from the world but you can't hide from Him.  If a president knows the name and story of every soldier in a portrait, imagine how much God knows about you.

You have a decision to make.  Choose Jesus.  Choose to trust a God that breathed life into you.  Choose a God that loves you no matter what.  He is here for you now and He will wait for you.  He waited for Peter to get strong enough to lead a church.  He waited for Paul to be blinded and created a man that brought His name to thousands.  He waited for me to trust in Him blindly so that He could do great things.

Don't put Him in a box. Don't put words in His mouth.  Read the Bible and visualize the last days leading up to the cross. He sweated blood and the angels had to minister to Him.  He was scared but in the end He said, Your will.  Not His will which was to escape the horrendous suffering He would undergo but God the Father's will over His.

ONE DECISION, ONE CHANCE, NO LOST OPPORTUNITIES!!!!!

For He rose again just like He said He would and that my sisters is the power of the cross.

Matthew 26:38-40New International Version (NIV)
³⁸ Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”
³⁹ Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

Trusting that tomorrow the sun will rise...

Good morning my sisters-

The sun is rising on Kansas this morning as I enjoy my first cup of coffee.  The dogs are eating their food as fast as they can and I hear the rumblings of my husband getting up.  It's morning on the Plains and as I sip my coffee the word trust swirls in the air.

Trust is not an easy word.  And in many ways, its an extremely hard thing to do. As little children, we trust that adults will take care of us but for some that's not the case.  As adults,we trust that we can take care of ourselves and so it goes.  Trust is hard.  It takes a strong heart to trust again when you've been betrayed or not taken care of.  Trusting in the unknown is even more difficult.  How do you possibly trust in something you can't see, hear or smell?  That's my question for today and I'm sure for those of you that have hit this blog, it's your question too.

In order for most people to trust there has to be a strategic repetition of actions.  Words don't count because most of the time someone has lied to you or been deceitful; so we look for actions to meet thewords and the first sign that they don't, trust wanes and with it comes fear and unrest.

I believe our journey with Jesus is just like that. It takes an extraordinary experience for us to believe in Him and then a supernatural experience to trust in Him.  It takes us giving Him our lives, admitting our sins and getting washed by the blood to understand that we are loved for who we are, not what we do or say.  Humans, by nature, have become wary of our friends, co-workers, family members and strangers.  People are stumbling all because of trust.  How can you trust that there is a God?  How can you trust that Jesus exists and how can you trust Christians when they let you down?

The questions surrounding Jesus have been the exact same for centuries.  Some trusted that what He said was true, others doubted and rejected His existence as the Son of God.  Even after you have accepted Him, you look for people to do the right thing and that just isn't always the case.  Like you, they let people down and regret it.  Jesus never let any of us down.  He predicted His death.  He knew the hour was going to be difficult. He knew that His own disciples would reject Him and that His mother would watch Him suffer.  He knew that as much as I love Him, I would let people down too.

The world is a dark place.  It is full of treachery, greed, pain, confusion, evil, fear, frustration, addiction and false teachings.  Included with all those words is a lack of trust in our fellow man.  People have figured out that you can't always trust someone that looks trustworthy.  Well we are human so who do we trust then? We must trust in Jesus.

I have spent the better part of my life trusting people that weren't trustworthy.  I have this inane sense to see inside your heart and always I see a ray of light there.  Even in the darkest soul, there is a light of good and if they seek it, they will find it.  My problem is that  I don't test my insight.  Over the last couple of years, I've learned to ask for discernment, which has given me insight into the light and the nature of the person.

So in the world we must use Godly discernment but with God we should trust without reserve.  That's what the disciples did after they saw Jesus resurrected from death.  They trusted that what He said was true.  They took that with them to their deaths and it's documented for all of us.  Moses, Abraham, David, Job, Isaac and Isaiah all trusted that God would deliver man from their sins so they walked the earth with trust in their hearts for a God they could not see.  Today, we walk more in the seen than the unseen.  If we can't touch it or feel it we can't trust it.  We are wrong.  We need to be like Paul who heard from Christ and began preaching the word without asking anyone. He just did.  One minute he was blind and the next he was preaching the Word of God.

Often, I struggle with trust because of my experiences.  Over time, though, I am learning to believe and trust in the God I can't see.  To believe He was born of a virgin and that he was beaten and killed for my sins.  As I have grown closer to the Spirit, I have walked out of my comfort zone and trusted Him who knows all.  I am not the smartest person on the earth and I'm definitely not the wisest but I am the child of  the God who promised to keep me always and that's exactly who I want to trust in.  I am His and He is mine.  My experiences have taught caution in the world, which I think is fine as long as I put my heart and mind in Christ's hands.  He is the reason I breathe and therefore, I owe Him all my trust.

Before I go, I want to say one more thing.  Trusting Him doesn't mean I will have all the money I want, all the friends I need, all the comfort I desire or all the success and awards I desire.  Trusting in Jesus means that I have a relationship I can depend on, period!  If you're looking for a relationship that never fails, ask Jesus into your heart today.  He is trustworthy.

Lord Jesus I pray that those that hit this blog will begin to ask you for supernatural eyes and supernatural trust.  I pray they will die to themselves and as they do, You will reveal yourself as you have throughout the centuries.  You are trustworthy and I believe that You will never leave us or forsake us.  May we be trustworthy with the gifts that you have given us and the message that must be spread throughout the nations.  Spread Your word and Your love to those that trust the least!  In Jesus Name we pray!!!!

Psalm 9:10 NIV

10 Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Patience...Do you have it?

Good morning my sisters-

It's another great morning here in the state of Kansas.  We finally received the gift of rain and it's February.  Lately the ground has turned to dust and as the wind has picked up so has the soil.  The Lord is mighty though and saw the need of His people and the animals by providing a thunderstorm that washed over the earth.  The bounty of rain is one of the most needed elements on the earth and as the earth waited patiently the Lord provided and now the fields are full of much needed moisture, the birds have much needed water and our water supply is growing.  All in good time.

Have you ever sat down and contemplated how patience is one of the keys to being satisfied? Whether you're waiting on a spouse, a child, a job or a need, patience is the key to living a joyful existence but if you're like me, you probably run out after a long hike up a tremendously steep mountain, right?  We grow weary waiting and waiting never feels good.

Last week I had my first breast exam in over 17 years.  Before you say it, I KNOW!  It took me that long to make time for it.  I'm just too busy to go to the doctor, the dentist, well really anything that gets in the way of work.  It's not an excuse really because that's who I am.  However, in the back of my mind, I'd been thinking it was time to do the test, so I did.  And then, I got that call. " Lisa, the doctor would like you to have further tests this week."  Okay, now what?  Great attitude I know but that was the attitude with not a lot of patience.  I was already thinking, "What if?" 

Time ticked away for three days and then the test.  As I sat waiting with three other women all I could think about was the hundreds of women that had sat in the same waiting room and I was humbled and a little scared.  They came back that the doctor would like to do a sonogram on my left breast and my mind began racing to what would I do if they said, "You have cancer."

In my mind, I thought two things patience and trust.  Wait for the outcome my mind shouted and then the song "I will trust" came in my mind and as I came out of my in-depth thinking I was humming it, right in the waiting room. The diagnosis was good and nothing came of the hour that I spent waiting patiently to find out if I had cancer except a clearer understanding of what waiting means to someone that has cancer.

I learned a lot last week, mostly that someone on a daily basis faces the diagnosis of cancer.  They face wondering what it will be like to lose their hair, their eyelashes and eyebrows.  As they wonder how they will tell their family or how will they get through or the fact that they will be facing surgery and even the loss of their breasts. And if all of that isn't bad enough what about departing this world.  Believe me  when I say this, all of those thoughts ran through my mind in less than three minutes. Your mind races like a sports car going over a hundred and then when you say, "I trust in You," things begin to become clear.  You realize that you must practice patience in the face of adversity and in all things you must trust that you have reached this crossroads because God put you there.

Many have faced a different outcome than I and many more will face it.  For those of you that have sat in that waiting room wondering what tomorrow will bring, I get it.  I don't understand past that though and would never want to say that I do.  I also get one more thing, I get that Jesus is the only way I could have faced such a diagnosis, period.  If you are going for more tests, wondering what tomorrow will bring you, remember one thing, Jesus knows the answers, rest in Him and He will help in times where you grow weary, when you think life is not fair or when you just feel like your patience has run out and the outcome is not good. He is with you always!

I thank Jesus for this epiphany and for reminding me that many women have gone before me and faced this courageous battle.  Please pray for women all over the world that have just sat through those moments and were handed a very different diagnosis than I was.  Please pray that they will be patient, that they will not grow weary and that God will give them peace to face the race, one day at a time.

Isaiah 40:30-31New International Version (NIV)

³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

May the God, our Father, always walk with us in hope and faithfulness even if the answer is not what we wish to hear.  I praise You Lord for giving me a sensitivity to what others have heard.  The path of this journey is not always easy, as You proclaimed so long ago.  We ask that You would continue to guide us and provide us with great faith to be patient and to trust in times of hardship and in times of joy.  In Jesus Name. AMEN

Happy Valentine's Day from God..

Good evening-

On the day that everybody celebrates love with cards, flowers, elaborate dinners, jewels, and everything worldly, let's remember one thin,g there are many that don't have someone to share today. So on this Valentine's Day, here is a message that means more than diamonds and gold.

The message:

Your Father chose You for such a time as this.  He alone can complete you.  He gave you life and freedom to love Him, not for just one day but for every day of the year.  We are to LOVE God first and then our neighbor.  Love is patient, love is kind, love does not boast, so today we proclaim that the greatest gift we could ever receive is the love of a Father that forgives and who saves.

To all of you that are sitting by yourself  know this one thing, You are loved!  You may never get diamonds or flowers but you have the choice to choose life, so choose Jesus.

On this Valentine's day I give my heart to the Holy Trinity.  I have been saved by the life of Jesus and I am His, forever.  That's the greatest gift and all I need today.  Feel love from our God and know He is near, always!

1 Corinthians 13
John 3:16
Genesis 1
Acts 26

We give you all the glory!

Being a bastard...

Good morning my sisters-

I heard an incredible story of a Korean women who was given up at 4 years old.  Her mother chose to marry and be protected over taking care of her half-breed daughter.  She was abandoned, lonely and had experiences in her youth, that many adults have not had to endure.  She fed herself bugs, slept in fox holes and was abused by others of her same race because she was half as much as them.  She wasn't just a bastard in Korea she was a Toogie. 

Our pastor shared her story out of Lee Strobel's book," The Case for Grace."  Her name is Stephanie and today she ministers to orphans in Korea and leads many to Christ.  During his sermon, he discussed how even after she was adopted by an American couple she never felt good enough.  They loved her but still she had to be the best, because in her heart she was still that little street urchin that was a Toogie.  I, for one, could relate to a very small part of the story.  I am a bastard just like her, however, our stories are very different.  I was from a middle class family and I learned of my birth status when I was 12 years old.  I had continued to have a re-occurring nightmare, always on Halloween.  I was Dorothy of the Wizard of Oz and something very evil was chasing me.  The ironic part of my story is I lived in New York and now I live in Kansas.  I guess that the dream was partially right anyway. Back to my point though, in the book it denotes how she did not cry, kept everything deeply bottled up inside and worked for image and perfection and that's where we are exactly alike.  It took a major situation in my professional life to unbundle and free years of anger, frustration and a sense of lacking more than being.  Maybe that's why I chose sales. In sales, you are only as good as your last sale.  No one cares about what you did yesterday, you have to keep going, be better, run faster and make more money.  You are never enough and for years I have chased that thought.  I am not enough.  Maybe you can relate.  This world has a way of making you feel like you are Dorothy running from the evil witch and you just keep running wondering when all the chaos will stop and you will just be enough.

Stephanie reached that point and so did I.  The challenges, thoughts and confusion are what make us  depend on God.  As we seek Him, we find him and how I have sought His guidance, His light and His will.  Bastard to me is one of the worst words ever until today.  Until my pastor said that Stephanie's father told her a story of a boy who was a bastard, who grew to be a man that had laid in straw, was severely abused, tortured and gave His life.  That boy was Jesus.  His father was not Joseph. Joseph was His earth father but God was His Father and all of  the sudden I felt a quiet in my heart, a sense of being and an understanding what the last couple of years were for me.  They have been about casting my image, anger, abandonment, and perfectionism to Christ and saying, "I am weak but You are strong."

Words hurt and emotions that are bottled up to the point of storing our tears  aren't what make us strong.  We may have overcome them but none of that matters without Jesus.  My first thought every time I write is that I hope you like reading my words and I hope they are meaningful to you but that's not what matters anymore.  What matters is the fact that I know I'm weak and through Jesus His Grace is sufficient.  How I was conceived and who had a part in that conception doesn't matter.  What matters is that God said, "You are mine."

Fame and fortune are what the world is about.  The image we create is just that, void of substance and lacking of our purpose and call.  Jesus called us to spread the word to the nations.  He prayed and prayed to remain in His Father and until His very last breath He did.  You may be dealing with many circumstances that are out of your control and praying for deliverance.  I get that, I've done that. He hears you and when we can say that we are grateful for all the bumps, lumps, molding and pruning, we will begin to see our full potential.  It has taken 51 years for me to feel the kind of peace I felt today.  To sit in church and realize there is no shame in what or who I came from.  I am not unclean because by GRACE I was saved!  I did absolutely nothing to achieve it and really don't deserve it. And yet, He gave it to me anyway.

If the following words resonate with you today, understand one thing. God is grace.  So here are just a few  that I want you to pray about with me.  They are:

Abandonment, shame, bastard, unworthy, awkward, ugly, babbling, idiot, sad, emotional, angry, image, perfectionist, driven, controlling, unemotional, saintly, judgmental, broken, abused, tyrant, smart, stupid, dirty, gross, unclean, wreck, killer, excuse ridden, co-dependent, coveting, touchy, bigot, argumentative, addict, sexually promiscuous, orphan, confused and broken. 

These words describe many who have come to love Jesus Christ.  In their hearts, they were unworthy to wash His feet but by Grace we are saved.  He didn't come for the one who believes themselves to be mighty, He came for the broken, bruised, and repentant.  He came for you!

Once again, my Lord and Savior meets me on the road of my own thoughts and beliefs.  Once again, I am washed with a picture that reminds me that He has gone through everything I might possibly face in this world.  I am His, which makes me wonder why He would want to love a wretch like me.  And then again, this story and the many in the Bible  remind me of why I love Him so.  With all my faults, confusion and constant berating, He hits me with this story.  I am enough because His grace is sufficient for me. Please pray that God would reveal His grace in our every day lives.  My prayer is that these words would because a harmony of God's great song of Grace.

2 Corinthians 12:1-10 NIV:

1 I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord.

References for 2 Corinthians 12:1

• Cross References

• 1 12:1 - ver 5,9; 2 Corinthians 11:16,30
• 2 12:1 - ver 7; S 1 Corinthians 2:10

2 I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows.

References for 2 Corinthians 12:2

• Cross References

• 3 12:2 - S Romans 16:3
• 4 12:2 - ver 4; S Acts 8:39
• 5 12:2 - Ephesians 4:10
• 6 12:2 - 2 Corinthians 11:11

3 And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows—

4 was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell.

References for 2 Corinthians 12:4

• Cross References

• 7 12:4 - ver 2
• 8 12:4 - Luke 23:43 ; Revelation 2:7

5 I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses.

References for 2 Corinthians 12:5

• Cross References

• 9 12:5 - ver 9,10; S 1 Corinthians 2:3

6 Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say,

References for 2 Corinthians 12:6

• Cross References

• 10 12:6 - 2 Corinthians 10:8
• 11 12:6 - ver 11; 2 Corinthians 11:16

7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.

References for 2 Corinthians 12:7

• Cross References

• 12 12:7 - ver 1; S 1 Corinthians 2:10
• 13 12:7 - Numbers 33:55
• 14 12:7 - S Matthew 4:10

8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.

References for 2 Corinthians 12:8

• Cross References

• 15 12:8 - Matthew 26:39,44

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

References for 2 Corinthians 12:9

• Cross References

• 16 12:9 - S Romans 3:24
• 17 12:9 - S Philippians 4:13
• 18 12:9 - S 1 Corinthians 2:3
• 19 12:9 - 1 Kings 19:12

10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

To HIm Be the Glory!

Good morning my sisters-

It's been some time since I last wrote.  Days go by and I think, "You should really write."  That thought  is fleeting  as I assess the day or just wonder is it worth it.  Time is precious and then my mind wanders and wonders, do I write for me or for Him?  That's been really what I've been contemplating over the last months and days since last I posted.

Thoughts like "Am I good enough" or "Will anyone read this" are what penetrate my mind day and night. So with those thoughts comes the ability for days to go by with no words to my Maker.  This blog was initiated out of pain and a need to spread the word to women all over the world. I sat for days thinking and dreaming about the what ifs of life.  I wanted the perfect title to the blog that was going to reach millions.  But like many things in life, year after year, the dream died more and more as the blog didn't reach millions of women and I thought, "What's the point?"

There are many places to hear God's word and who was I to think that God would use this blog for His glory anyway.  So through trials and tribulations and many negative thoughts, I just stopped writing.  I gave up on the dream, sat at home reading my Bible and leaving the writing to women like Anne Graham Lotz and Beth Moore. God didn't need another one of them when they were doing such a great job already.  And that's exactly what I did my sisters these last months, I left it to everyone else.  My posts became infrequent at best and I believed I was doing the right thing.  After all, there are millions of women that can probably write better than me.  And then, something happened this week and I remembered my initial vision of what God had spoken to my heart.  I was to carry the message of Jesus to millions.  Now that's a mighty task, right?  Well, it was the first vision and then all the sudden reading Paul's testimony to King Agrippa and Festus, it came back like the tide washing to the shore, with majesty and power. 

All I could think about as I read Acts 26 was that my faith had never been like that.  I haven't been persecuted for what I believe, no one has tried to make me blasphemy God and I have been free every day to sit down and write to women all over the world and tell them of the power and majesty of Jesus Christ.  And yet, I didn't.  I sat for months thinking what's the point and let others carry the good news.  So the fault lies in me, in my need to make a difference and in a dream that, to date, hasn't come to fruition. I'm the football player that sat on the sidelines as others were making touchdowns.  I had a dream to be the star player but no ambition or what I believed to be talent.

Well, Acts 26 has done a number on me because I can't get it out of my mind.  I actually was cleaning my office when I found the poem I wrote in November.  I serve the Great and Wonderful Savior and I have sat around feeling like I don't make a difference because what I believed to be a calling just isn't. I'm like Sarah laughing at God and not believing she would have a son and I feel repentant. 

Somewhere through my life I stopped dreaming.  I stopped believing in the impossible.  I sometimes find myself dreaming but it's for others.  Dreaming is believing.  If you can dream it you can make it a reality.  Just look at the dreams of Henry Ford or the Wright brothers.  They dreamed it, it was absolutely out there and people didn't believe them but it was true and because of them we now drive cars and fly airplanes.  And if we go back to Paul's time, who would have thought that a normal trip to Damascus could make a man blinded, see a vision and believe in a Savior, so easily and so powerfully. "Saul, Saul, why have you forsaken me?"  That one sentence changed a man's life, brought him hardship and persecution and yet, he stands in front of a King, boldly stating that he is only doing what He envisioned.

Power is in the dreams of men, coming from the Holy Spirit.  Passion is the drive that the Spirit uses to fulfill the dream and God oversees it all, for all power lies in His will.  I don't know what the months and years will bring and I have no idea if I will be standing before thousands of women telling them about my King but I do know this, I must get out of the way, not worry about fame or making a difference, and write today, for it was the Spirit that placed the dream in my heart and I must be obedient to the Spirit.  It doesn't matter how many people hit this blog as long as the one that does understands that Jesus has given me life, he has freed me from Sin and He loves me with all my little dents and stains.  He forgives, the world does not.  The world will remain more and more corrupt, hate filled and lost but Jesus is the way.  He loves you, so stop fighting Him and come into the fold.  He's waiting!

Acts 26:15-18 (NIV)
¹⁵ “Then I asked, ‘Who are you, Lord?’
“ ‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,’ the Lord replied. ¹⁶ ‘Now get up and stand on your feet. I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant and as a witness of what you have seen and will see of me. ¹⁷ I will rescue you from your own people and from the Gentiles. I am sending you to them ¹⁸ to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.’

So today My Lord I ask You to come to us and spread Your wings over all those that need You.  I pray that I would be faithful to the calling you placed on my heart.  I pray that I would not seek fame or fortune but only You and when I pray, I would pray for the millions of women that need You today.  My hope and dream is that millions will find You and that they will speak Your name.  I am but one women who loves You with all her heart.  I come before You repentant for my apathy and ask that You would give me a heart like my forefathers, a heart that beats only for Your voice.  Please father help me in this year, 2017, to be bold for You. In Jesus Name I pray.

And the God of all grace...

Good morning my sisters-

I wrote this passage last week and thought it was important to pass on.  How you think about yourself can and will be used against you.  You must always remember that God thinks your beautiful, your wonderful and your His.  As you read what I wrote, I hope you find one word that you can put into place that is positive and represents how Jesus sees you.  At the end of this journey it doesn't matter what people believed about you, it matters what trials you learned from, what faith you gained in the midst of negativity and in Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.  I hope you find something in today to be blessed by and find your first word, here's mine.

From last Friday to my trainer:

Words are what knit this world together.  They can be positive or negative with no grey area.  They can inspire or tear down.  They are the center of how people feel.  Whether you are logical or artistic, words paint a picture of the soul.  They define people into categories that often, they cannot break.  Words should be used to build tapestry but instead they are often used to bring about war.

As a little girl, I learned what it meant to be a “bastard, abandoned and unwanted.”  I learned what an ugly duckling was and how librarian, which should have meant something positive, became an absolute negative in my life.  And I learned what fat meant and how fat people were treated and how they thought of themselves.  These were the words that molded a young girl.  And although none of these words are positive, they were all used to make a warrior.

Struggling with body issues, insecurities and not fitting in is where my journey begins.  Where I am today truly started so many years ago.  Women, in general, struggle with many of the same issues I face.  Girls look at movie stars, models and beautifully thin women as their sole role model.  We get desensitized to what we were truly made for and that beauty is only skin deep.  Words somehow penetrated the minds and souls of the innocent to be distorted, ravaged and twisted.  What was started as a solid oak tree ends in sawdust.  But like every strong tree, rooted to the ground, with sunlight and water that tree grows again. It becomes new and learns to weather the toughest storms and in time, becomes stronger and more radiant. Body transformation isn’t just the time you spend in the gym or in your home, it’s the time you take to re-program words that have infiltrated your mind and soul.  Like a great painting the color needs to be layered, swished and infused, with light and dark, to weave a picture of true mastery.

Beginning the journey is the toughest part.  How do I know?  Because I have taken on the challenge at an age when a woman has a hard time losing weight, getting healthy and seeing herself from the inside, out.  As you age, your body begins to show all its wear.  What you have eaten, how much stress you have, what you believe and how you have treated the vessel you were given becomes apparent in blood tests and in how you feel.  You have a choice, just like I do.  You can choose to live in words or you can act and change your course.  You are made for this journey, you just didn’t know it until you got here and either did I.

So today we start with the re-programming of a mind that has been filled with the greatest lies.  These words have penetrated you to your core and part of getting healthy is taking each word, finding different ones and begin living in those words.  The past doesn’t have to define you.  You have a choice to fill your mind with beautiful colors.  It just takes one word to begin to see the truth. 

The word that changed my life happened last year, I chose, “Warrior.”  If an oak tree is 100 years young, isn’t it a warrior? Now, you need to find one word that describes this journey for you and put it into your mind, on your phone, as your saver screen, wherever because it’s about to become part of your journey to healing your mind and body.  As you picture the word, you will begin to push yourself to be the “word” that best describes you today.  We will add on to those words as time goes by but it really starts with the first.

In the end my sisters there is only one true path and where all words come from, our Lord and Savior. Don't believe the lies of the world, look up and find the words that God uses to describe His people.  We are His vines.  We must put on the full armor of God.  We are chosen.  We are His bride.  Do you see any negativity there?  Of course not because we are part of the beautiful tapestry that's been called to spread the word to the nations.  Our inner soul must long for God over words.  We are called to love others, listen to God and to spread the Bible.  Our journey is part of the 100 year vision and somewhere in that you will live and die.  The question is, "What do you want to leave behind?"

I want to leave behind that I fought the good fight and I persevered, just like Paul. Find a Scripture that resonates with you today and find one word that describes your journey with Jesus.

1 Peter 5: 10 NIV

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered for a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.  To him be the power for ever and ever. AMEN

What if I wake up and I see Jesus....

Good morning my sisters-

This morning I woke up from a disturbing dream.  It took me a minute to realize where I was and that I actually was awake.  It's interesting because I haven't been dreaming that much but I've been in another spiritual battle, so I can only conclude that the dream stems from that.

Whenever we are fighting for good, it seems like something comes in and takes our focus off it.  Do you know what I mean?  All the sudden we are immersed in our own heads thinking about our life, our challenges and our directions.  We become, "I" focused.  Not a good place to be but it just happens and then we sit on it for awhile and it becomes an obsession.  Well, over the last couple of years, I've learned to shake off that kind of thinking.  I'm day by day now and yet, I'm still human so it would be very easy for me to slip into "What about tomorrow?"

Tomorrow always comes, that is, unless you have died and perhaps that truly is the best tomorrow.  While we're here on earth grieving, they are meeting Jesus, where there is no pain, no anxiety, no fear, no disease, no strife, no loss--they're free. So as I woke this morning I went to my daily reading of devotionals and Scripture.  It's become what I call my holy time.  It's me and Jesus, sitting in my office with no distractions.  Oh, and of course,there's coffee too, even if it is decaffeinated with primal greens, its still coffee!  Did I hear an Amen?

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that when I woke today, I didn't meet Jesus face to face.  I didn't get to hear him talk to me about my choices, my sins, my distractions or my journey.  I woke to a confusing dream that drove me to Him, which is the only way I can find Him here and to his non-audible voice, the Bible.  I have to admit, I often worry that I haven't repented for all my sins and how many of those will there be, only He knows.  At the same time, I know He knows my heart and my heart is 100% His. Trials have just been part of my life.  I've lived through them, or maybe, stumbled through them.  And in the end, I have come out of each one a stronger, more faithful Jesus follower.  Maybe I'm like the man that was paralyzed, who had the desire to get into the pool with no one to help him.  That didn't actually hold true though because Jesus came to Him and asked him if he wanted to be well and then healed Him.  Only today will reveal my direction and only today can I pray and walk with the Lord, for tomorrow will bring the next set of challenges.

I'm humble enough to admit that I need Jesus, not just today, but for every hour of today.  I'm needy enough to admit that I want Him to change me and mold me and I'm faithful enough to believe He will do all these things according to His will. So today, I pray for my sisters all over the world that are moving through life with challenges, hurts, strife and horrific circumstances.  I'm praying that our Lord and Savior is walking with them and lifting them up.  I'm praying that the enemy will not destroy the love they have for their God and I'm praying that I am preparing every single day to see Jesus, even if that's 40 years down the road.

A heart is a fickle thing.  It wants what it wants but we can train it to want Jesus.  Take a moment today, whether that's driving your car, taking a shower, going to work, diapering your baby, whatever your doing, ask Jesus to mold your heart and keep you right in today.  We prepare on this earth to be warriors for a world we can't see and our leader is the Son of God the Father.  We are strong and mighty.  Our hope is not on man but on Him who set us free.  Tell your mind and heart that today and God will lead you into the battle prepared and full of His love.  May you see Him as you wake up today for He's waiting to meet you right where you are. 

I pray all these things for you my sisters, be bold and bright and don't let anything squash the light that lives inside you!

Your power is great, and your glory is seen everywhere in heaven and on earth. You are king of the entire world,

1 Chronicles 29:11