Saturday, July 29, 2017

Asking forgiveness is very hard...

Good morning all-

This week I stepped out and made myself vulnerable.  I was prepared.  I have been working on this situation for the last two years and knew the outcome but also knew God wanted me too.  You know it's great when you come to a place when you forgive someone, it gives you great clarity.  The hard part is reaching out to that someone.

I am definitely human and I have made mistakes.  A couple years ago I made a lot of mistakes and through it all God taught me what I needed to know and why I needed to go through the trial.  I would say that even when I was delivered I held deep anger toward people and it was hard to shake that anger.  This week I reached out to someone I had forgiven but felt like I might need to ask forgiveness from.  It turned out exactly how I thought it would.  This person wished me no ill will but did not want to have a conversation and yet, it still bugged me.  I was awake a lot last night thinking about it.  Why did it bug me so?  I think the answer lies in the fact that I wanted to mend the fence but the fence was already damaged and I was a participant in that damage.

Relationships are hard and we do hurt people and they hurt us.  Unfortunately it's a fact of life.  Look at Jesus and all the thousands that sought Him out only to kill him for doing absolutely nothing.  He had to live with these people, minister to them knowing all along betrayal would come and He would die for their sins.  He did just that.

As humans we don't want to take on others sins.  Often, we get angry and feel righteous because we were wronged.  That doesn't help us.  Feeling wronged prolongs any healing God wants to bestow on you and even though this week didn't come to a positive conclusion I have come to a place of peace.  I basically asked for a meeting to fully apologize, I had written a note over a year ago and in my mind, that still wasn't sufficient.  I have now been freed from my obligation.

I can honestly say I laid awake for much of last night.  See my intention is never to hurt anyone and yet, I'm sure I do.  And maybe, the other person never meant to  hurt me either but they did.  Either way, I have tried to reconcile and that's all Jesus asks of us.  If I had a do-over, I would definitely do it differently.  Time will pass and the lessons from that time will remain.  I'm not sure I totally understand why things went so south and yet, I know God can right them in the face of a whole bunch of wrong.  People don't intentionally mean to hurt most of the time.  Be slow to anger and be open to forgiveness.  Those are the lessons I have learned most over the last couple of years.  I was meant to learn that lesson and my hope is the damage that was done would be a reminder for the future.

I can't fix everything and I wasn't meant too.  I can't rescue people either because I wasn't meant too. I must walk the way God wants me to,  loving people and forgiving those that trespass against me as I may have done to them.  Forgiveness is one of the most significant gifts our God has given us.  Imagine a world where people forgave instead of hated.  What a world we would live in.  For the person that was caught up in the mess with me so many years ago, I hope she can remember the good parts because that's what I'm going to concentrate on moving forward.

If you've been wronged or have wronged someone, please ask for forgiveness and give it freely. I am so thankful that God forgives me for my sins and in doing so, I owe Him the same respect.  I can't hold a grudge if He doesn't, now can I?  I also can't hole up and never let people back in.  I must spread the word of God and the forgiveness He has bestowed on me as He works on me.  See I will be a work-in-progress until He comes again, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

May your day today be full of joy and laughter. May you forgive the way Jesus forgives. I'm praying for you my sisters please pray for me too.  As I've stated I'm human and you know what that means!

Ephesians 4:31-32

31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.              

Always remember that God forgave you.  That's the key to forgiveness.  Why should we hold a grudge when He doesn't?  And they all said, AMEN!               

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

#1 reason to give your life to God is love...

Good morning ladies-

I just wanted to write today about a topic that I find often falls off and isn't broadcast as loud as it should be.  The word is love.  Love is never failing and yet, when we think of love, we think of it as a feeling. It so isn't a feeling. It's a commitment, a covenant of the most magnificent kind.  It heals like no other medicine, pulls people together and reminds all of us that we are very special.  Feelings change with circumstances, arguments, and just life. Love remains constant and is not a term to take lightly.

If our God loved us today the way we loved, then what would happen?  Have you thought about it? You know how your feelings are.  They go up and down with the sun sometimes.  Well, that is not a God love.  A God love given by the father is a commitment.  He loves us.  He lets us wander, He leads us by still waters, He heals hurts no psychologist could. He is love.  So what is love?  Love is what 2 Corinthians states it is.  It's kind and patient and it never ends.  A love that never ends.  Many don't know what this means because today love is fleeting and often very unkind.  What seemed like the best guy with all the right stuff turned into a man with inner darkness and yet, God still loves Him too. Why?  That's a good question and it's the first I'm going to ask Him when I get a chance.

Looking for a man to fulfill that hole in your heart won't work.  They can't. They can be our partners but that hole is where the Lord wants to be in your life.  He wants you to remember that He is love and although this world is very cold, He is the light.  No matter what you've done or think you've done, God holds all the keys to the heart and when you ask Him in, He unlocks that hole and fills it up until its overflowing. It was planned before you were born.  You were born with a purpose and He wants to show you how much he cared by showing you what love really is.

You may be in a place right now where you are seeking this magnificent thing called love.  Seek Him first and ask Him to show you the way to love again, not like before, but with a renewed spirit of commitment. Consistency is the key.  You will have to read a lot to see what God intended love to be. It's a relationship and it's stronger than any feeling we have ever felt.  Be patient, pray and read His word and you will see how much He loves us, forgives us and lifts us to Him.

Seek Him first and He will show you the way.  He has for me. It's a journey that takes commitment on my part too.  I have to remind myself daily that He is love and that I have been chosen for such a time as this.  Be well my sisters and please pray for the women in the Middle East that have lost so much and who need Him desperately.  The wars in Syria and Iraq are real.  Remember that.

I am nothing without His love.

2 Corinthians 13:11 NIV

11Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.

Monday, July 24, 2017

You don't know what you have until it's gone

Good morning my sisters-

As I write I'm looking out into a beautiful forest, full of flowers, raspberries and little fawns wandering a dense area right next to my aunt's house. Out in the backyard the birds are signing praising the heavenly father for all the wonderful blessings He bestows.  A chipmunk peeks out to let you know he's there and then disappears back into safety and I sit and watch the wonder of the world right here in my aunt's house. She is my last living relative of my mom's core family.  She has outlived everyone by almost 10 years.  She knows loss like none other and yet, daily, challenged with an insurmountable disease that has made her legs virtually unusable, I watch her take every step with courage.

My aunt is an accomplished author, a counselor and a world traveler.  She has skied in the finest winter and summer resorts, walked, exercised and worked hard to build her core for such a day as this.  The day has come when her legs don't do what she needs them to do.  They are weak but she is strong.  Remember that song we used to sing about Jesus.  We are weak but he is strong.  I'm paraphrasing of course but that's what I see in a person that tells herself she can do it, even when the odds are completely against her.

Life is a difficult journey. It's hard and the pain can sometimes be overwhelming.  I rode on an airplane this week with a Make A Wish child and my heart hurt for her parents.  They were her team and she was excited about her journey.  The strain on the parents faces was palpable. They are probably going to lose her and yet the journey was meant to bring hope and light in the midst of darkness.  Those parents are gearing up to lose their daughter.  The trip allows them to hold onto the memories of when they were one and when they are weak, it will be this journey they hold until they see her again.  This is one of many stories of loss and for them all, they must go on just like my aunt does on a daily basis.

My aunt is a lot like my mom.  She is a warrior of great magnitude.  They fight like I've never seen women fight and it makes me wonder where my warrior is sometimes.  Why don't I have the courage to write the book God has called me to write? Why don't I seize every moment to proclaim His name? Why don't I feel good enough to travel the world and speak about Him with honor and glory? Why can't I be like the warriors I have seen?

I don't have all those answers.  I wish I did.  Thank goodness He gives me grace and encourages me in the dark hours to be all that I can be.  He reminds me that none of it is about me, it's all about Him. And yet, sometimes I wonder, am I good enough?  The memories I carry are in the Bible of Him and the disciples roaming the lands to bring followers unto Him.  I'm sure the disciples had no idea of the loss they would feel when He left this earth and yet, we know from their story there was much loss, confusion, and the inability to move.  That is, until He came back and gave them purpose.

We all lose things that we value.  It could be a parent, a child, a friend, money or your health.  Each person has his/her own journey. My hope is that with loss the memories of what once was will light our path to the glorious creator. When we do this, our focus will come off of ourselves and move toward the father who lights the way. God takes care of all living things from the beautiful fawn to you and me.  He knows our trials, our hurts, our challenges and our inner most thoughts.  He laughs with us, cries with us and holds us in our lightest and darkest hours.  He is the King of King and Lord of Lords and for the life of me I don't know why he chose me but I am so very thankful.

So if you are in a time of great need or you're out having the vacation of your lifetime, I hope you look up and thank the Lord our God who created everything under the sun.  Life is a series of events and luckily, we all are on the journey together.  Whether we are a warrior today or a sea turtle floating along the bottom of the wide ocean, we are His and He is near.  Our memories of what He accomplished in His 33 years stand today.  Every day, someone out there is coming to Him and proclaiming that He is God. My prayer is that the  one who reads this will see in the words not what I have written--they will see Him.

Thank you for those that hit this blog. My prayer is that I will continue on to fight the good fight and to be the woman Jesus has asked me to be so that through me, He can show you His light.  Be well my sisters and know that I am praying.

Isaiah 40:30-31 New American Standard Bible

30Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, 31Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.

Saturday, July 8, 2017

In the morning...

Good morning my sisters-

I am outside listening to the choir of barn swallows under my deck, drinking coffee with my faithful puppy eating whatever she finds and it's a beautiful morning.  The sun is coming up and the clouds seem so majestic and there is a song in my heart.

I confess that has not always been the case through the last couple of years.  Trials and challenges have followed me.  I have felt regret and even sometimes failure but along the way the Lord Jesus has led me to being in His presence right now, in this moment, I know he's near.

I can't say I would change one thing.  Life is a series of threads in very different colors.  Some are warm, uncomfortable and threatening in nature and others are calm and blue and others are yellow full of ideas and hope.  Intertwined these threads with all they're many hues make a tapestry and as each one is woven we grow and move toward being more Christ like.

Throughout my life I've been told I can't do something.  I've been told I wouldn't get through college, I did.  I was told by an English teacher that I couldn't write, I won a writing award. I was told that if I ever got a great job my math disability would hinder me.  I've had great jobs making money for other people and in the last couple of years I've learned how to do accounting.  You will be told by many you can't do something and there may even be a bit of truth in that.  Humanly speaking, you may not have the talent at the time or the knowledge but we have what others don't, God!

Where I am weak, He is strong.  Where others feel I don't have the aptitude, He does.  And when someone tries to crush you, He will lift you up on eagles wings.  This is the power of our God.  He takes care of the birds and he takes care of us.

If I can express one thing to you it would be to go outside and look at what God created.  Thank Him for His power and His glory. He gives us everything we need to be successful for Him. I guess that's the lesson I've learned the most, it's not about me, it's about Him.

Be well my sisters and know He is God.

Jeremiah 17:7 (NIV)
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.