I thought it poignant to commemorate what started this blog. Before writing here, I spent many months writing in a journal my personal thoughts and feelings, all to God of course. Today, I share my private thoughts with you. I think it will help you to understand my need to spread the gospel and why I encourage you to do so. As I've stated in other posts, I made a covenant with the Lord to spread His name throughout the world and this journal entry started it all.
At the beginning of dad's trials, I mapped out all my thoughts on paper, quietly so no one knew. Today, I map my thoughts out to whoever finds my blog and I am so grateful to God that He not only saved my dad but that He gave me a place to praise Him.
As my dad lay dying, I prayed that God would come to him in dreams. I sat by his bed, reading my Bible and praying and all of the sudden my father began to mumble in his sleep. He raised his hands in prayer and pointed to the ceiling. I never heard him speak the words I so desperately wanted to hear but I know that the Lord delivered my dad and he now resides on the streets of gold.
I share this passage with you more for me than you. As I read the words I wrote a year ago, I am reminded how great our God truly is. I didn't deserve His love and neither did my dad but He gave it freely anyway. I hope you see the hope in my words and what God did and continues to do for all of us.
Lisa Rogers Journal Entry 2011
November 11, 2011
OH LORD HOW GREAT YOU ARE! Those are the words I want to meditate on day and night. I am not all knowing or all powerful like you. I only know what you allow and today I ask that you allow me to know the direction this will take with dad. He has been fascinated with 11/11/11 whenever he sees it on a clock he says those are my lucky numbers. I am not sure that today or the days that follow will be lucky. I believe that they will be very difficult and he is very ill. I am not sure what all is happening but my belief is that his time is short. I am not trying to be a pessimist; I just believe he is getting to his time. So many things have happened in the last months. He said he was taking one last trip to NY and then he told me he would be here until his birthday. The worry and fear I feel for him is great because he does not know YOU. I am asking for a biblical size miracle LORD. I am asking that he will proclaim YOU as his savior and that he will allow me to pray over him. I am asking YOU to be his father as he has been my father. I know that YOU provided him to my mom and I and I am asking with all my heart that YOU not let him leave this earth until he can go to heaven. I wish that I could take the turmoil and pain away from him. I wish he did not have to be in the hospital on oxygen. I wish he was whole and could enjoy his last days but most of all I wish him to know YOU!
His time is near. I feel it and I believe YOU have allowed me to know that. I believe that YOU provided the best doctors to take care of him and that they will until his last days. I believe that YOU can do miracles even in these days and I believe that YOU can help me be strong beyond my own self. I also believe that YOU can provide the courage I need to talk about the savior of my life and what YOU mean to me. I am going to go get that tape so he can listen to the little boys testimony of being in your lap. I love YOU LORD and thank you for the many memories I have. Right now I am not asking you to get us through the holidays. I am just asking YOU to continue YOUR will on his life and help him to understand the power of YOU.
We need mighty warriors praying on our behalf and I ask that You lift our family into the hearts of those warriors. Prayer is more powerful than anything on earth because it is a holy connection to YOU. I ask that YOU would give me that power back to be bold and forthcoming with the message of my savior and I ask that during our storm, I would not only be there for my family but for others that are struggling in their storms. I would like to thank the staff of building 4 floor 3 for their caring hands. I will never forget their commitment to him or our family.
Give me strength in the days to come and protect this family as we fight for dad's saving grace. May You be present in my days and make me aware that YOU are near. Help me to remember that I am not in control but only YOU are and help me to remember that life is but a moment and that YOU have given us an eternity.