Why do we sabotage relationships? Have you ever thought about it? It's so present in our flesh and yet, we just don't diagnose it until it's too late. It really is unfortunate that we let our mouths get away from us too quickly or even our actions. Women are infamous for putting their feet into their mouths. We get angry about inconsequential things, we gossip, and we just plain don't think about what we say.
I think it starts at puberty when the popular people become popular and the nerds emerge. We are all trying to be powerful in our own way. The problem is that we destroy the good that we do when we work to be the best, the most beautiful, or the most popular. Young girls don't often get this but we should.
Women have the ability to raise leaders, humanitarians, ministers, missionaries and presidents. From the time a child is born, we have no way to know what he or she might do. And yet, we gossip behind peoples backs, we sabotage good relationships because we fear and we worry about what people think about us. Why? Because we want power. The power we have through Jesus has nothing to do with any of those things. It has to do with the ability to allow the Holy Spirit in and to really be a prayer warrior for those that can't pray. We can unite and become one, which helps others to have courage in their storms, fire under their feet, and a sense of oneness that we all desire. We don't do it; Jesus does.
In order for us to fulfill our purpose we must desire to be in relationship without asking for anything in return. We must move through our hurts and pains and work toward being the kind of women Jesus wants. We must strike at fear, frustration and anger and replace it with love, trust, faith and peace. Basically, we must die to our flesh so that we can reap the full benefits of Jesus Christ.
I have sabotaged many relationships. Especially when it came to the male persuasion. And because I lacked faith in women, I really didn't have much in the way of friends either. It was only when I began to look at myself that I realized I feared getting hurt. When you fear hurt, you will not invest. If you don't invest, you will miss out. I understand the need to protect yourself but I also know the blessings we miss out on when we protect too much. Jesus will protect us. Our flesh won't.
People need people. Look around. We need each other and God made it that way. If you're scared today to be in relationship with someone, I beg of you to ask Jesus to heal that part of you that wants isolation. The greatest events in History have come from people uniting for a common cause. Just look at the Susan B Komen organization.
People will and can hurt us. The key is if we are willing to stand up, walk away from our fear, and fight for each other. I have corrected a lot of my lifetime fears through Jesus Christ. I am now able not to look at the end but approach everything as if it's the beginning. How did I do that? Through a lot of prayer. I needed God to diagnose and heal me. Every event begins with me, I'm the only common denominator in my relationships. I'm the only one that can see the fear and hurt and I'm the only one, with Jesus, that can fix it.
Whether you are challenged by your relationships with women or men, please take some time with our maker. Ask Him to diagnose and to reveal your fears, hurts, and frustrations. Start small and invest in one person. Don't look toward the end of the relationship, walk daily. We need to approach relationships in a healthier way. Christ did. All would fail Him and yet, He came to save us all!
Colossians 4:5-6 NKJV:
Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.
Psalm 73:26 NKJV:
My flesh and my heart fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
If your desire is to have a truly meaningful relationship with a male or female, then you must be right with Jesus. Our flesh will let us down, Jesus won't. Take heart and know that many of us fail this particular test. The winners ask for help, persevere and die to their flesh. Today, I am able to be in community with many different women. It didn't happen by chance; it happened through Jesus. There are still times I fail this test but I always walk back to Jesus and ask Him to fix me. I'm not perfect but I have a God that is. Walk with Him daily, so that You can walk with those He chooses to bring into your life. The reward is great!
My prayer today:
Lord, we love you so much and yet, we let our flesh do the talking for us. I pray that we would die to our flesh so that You can use us. Although I have failed myself and others, I pray that I will not fail You now. I come before You asking for You to restore in me a new heart. I want a heart that yearns for others and that will love them through the test of time. I pray that all women everywhere will throw off their hurts, frustrations and anger and in there place will be love, peace, trust and faith, that You are the key to every relationship. I grow weary of my own failures but I have You to lift me up, mold me and to make me Yours. In all things, I pray that we would all see Your mighty hand on our lives. That we would invest in one, so that many can know Your name. We ask that we would die to ourselves and that You would be our every focus. For as long as You are the king of our hearts, we will succeed in every battle. We need You to reveal to us our weaknesses so that they can be replaced with Your strength. Thank You for never turning Your back on this broken generation, for loving us when we are unloveable and for making us Yours! In Jesus name, AMEN