Good morning my warrior sisters-
It's been some time since I've written and it feels good to be back. From time to time, I take time off this platform to reflect on God so it's been awhile. I'm getting on today because I've had many revelations I wanted to share with you.
Over the last couple of years my journey has not exactly been what I had hoped for in my life. I've really had to find myself again with Jesus at the helm. I had my life paved with gold up until 2016 when much fell apart. That life was driven by success, money and pride. Fortunately for me, God decided it was time for a change.
In April of 2016, I had a choice to make, Jesus or money and in the end Jesus won out. I actually left my job with nothing else in sight and trusted the process. I have been providing a steady income for my family, health insurance and a comfortable lifestyle my whole life and with a blink, I gave it up.
By May of 2016, God provided another opportunity that I loved and after a year, I was laid off with two weeks severance and nothing in sight. And then, in June of 2017, God opened a door into a new career.
From 2016 to now, I have taken pay cuts, lost roles and floundered to find me in the journey. With no hobbies or outside adventures, work was my joy and now it has become my cross. How can I say that? Well, work is where I found happiness, where I became worth something and where I found status and unlimited financial potential. It was where I could shine. Unfortunately, it's where I was falling into a pattern of sin.
I loved money, I loved position and I loved being the lead. So the challenge over the last 3 years is how do I remain peaceful in a journey that has turned my world upside down? The answer, Jesus.
Jesus has changed me in a way I would never have thought. I wanted position and financial independence more than I wanted Him. It's true. I wanted a house and cars and money in the bank and then in 2016 I found myself realizing that money didn't buy happiness.
So, I've been in a storm. Really it feels like a tornado from time to time. My whole life has changed. I now just have a job, not a career. I work from 8-5 and I'm home every night. I don't have great wealth nor am I destitute. I have found time to read my Bible and send scripture to my closest friends every morning. I can serve others and do it with an open heart. I've started that book I continue to feel unworthy to write and I've found me in the eye of the storm. Not the person everyone thinks they know but the person Jesus knows.
In the last couple of years, I am being transformed as if I was a blob of clay. I have been pinched, smashed and reformed carefully by my maker. He is refining me and opening me up to free me from the sin and inner turmoil I carry. I've always been performance based. How high can I jump? Well, tell me I can't and I will push to jump higher. The problem with that philosophy is I can't do it alone. I have to have Jesus in the midst. I have to have Him walking beside me. I have to release my ideas, my wants and my desires and focus on the kingdom and on His will. I've been chasing success, money and accolades for so long, to now come to the end of me and find that His will must be at the center of what I do, how I think and how I move forward.
It's a journey my sisters. It has trials and tribulations. I want more than anything to help women all over the world, to encourage you not to give up on Jesus. I want you to walk with Him in your storm, pursue His words and believe that He alone knows your purpose. I am not over this trial by a long shot. I fight it every day but I've come to realize that my purpose is not what I believe but what His will is for me.
As I watch the world events unfold and see the children of Syria on the streets, my heart tells me there is much work for all of us. We must find peace in our own journey so we can concentrate on others. It won't be easy. It hasn't been easy for me. It has been life changing and I'm grateful for the journey because it's given me more time to look around me and to care about what our God cares about which is the lost, the destitute, the misfits and the hurting.
It's by His word life is revealed. The Bible is true. Look around you, there are rumors of war, earthquakes, death and destruction. There are children turning against their parents and parents killing their children. There is evil on this earth and yet, when we walk in peace, God provides a door for us to come in and get out of the storm. Be encouraged that today may hold trouble but God will provide hope in the midst of it.
Please look these Scriptures up today:
Our time is now. We are being refined so that we can trust in Him who has given us life. His will must be done on earth as it is in Heaven and we must stand still and find His peace in the journey. For it is not by bread alone but by every word of God. Stand with me today and may God bring the lost into His arms and provide peace in the midst of your trials. I'm praying for you my sisters and I know that there is power in prayer.