Good morning my sisters-
Over the last couple of months I have shared my family trials and tribulations. I haven't given you all the details but if you read my blog through November, December and now January, you can put two and two together. Lots of things are happening in my home. I've been through a mighty spiritual battle that I am sure to be apart of again and I have been praying over the futures of my sons, particularly the youngest. My oldest has found his path, not only with God but with the woman he cares for and in the career he has chosen. God has steered his ship and I feel like he is on the right course. Like all of us, he will have times when the swells of the sea will be great but his foundation is solid.
On the other hand, I have worried over my little man. At 6'8"tall, I can't believe I still call him that. His life took a big change when my mom died, I was traveling and I know he felt lost. I eventually got home, when I quit being stubborn and let God lead me but the last years have been full of trying to right that ship. Last year, all I could focus on was him getting a sports scholarship. I was so focused on it my blood pressure rose to such heights that I'm on two medications now. This season was no different, when I started to see his enthusiasm for the sport go from one hundred to zero in just a few months. My thoughts and prayers were around how to direct him. That's not an easy job with any teenager but this one is stubborn, just like his mama. Don't tell anyone I said that though!
There was a point that I wrote on this blog about the word that came to me, "He is mine." That only can be from God because if you have ever held a child in your arms, from the moment of birth, they are yours. It's instinctual and it takes a mighty change in them and you to change it. I realized at that very moment that God wanted me to understand that he was no longer mine but His. That doesn't mean I won't have an influence but his journey and choices have begun with Christ and I need to watch and pray. So that's what I'm doing. I realized or you could say I was given wisdom that all the pressure of a scholarship had changed him. He wasn't playing for himself or for fun; He was playing to please others. I know for me if I'm doing a job I don't love; I won't last for long. So while praying I made a decision to take all the pressure off of him and remind him who is in control of his life. As a matter of fact, I wrote it in his birthday card, Jeremiah 29:11. It has been a verse I carry with me every time I do anything. See after so many years on this earth you realize one thing, who steers the ship. I may navigate the waters but the true captain is Jesus. I would love to know what direction my son is heading in. I would love to know who he will choose as a wife and I would love to know if he will be a great man of God. Unfortunately, I have to sit on the side lines and pray that the Lord that gave me these two children will make them His and that He will direct their days.
You may be wondering why God hasn't revealed your direction. Maybe your looking out to far. If there is one thing I have learned in the last couple of months, it's to look only to Him day by day. I promise you may not have the full picture but you will have the picture for the day. Our paths are guided and are steps are watched. A shepherd never leaves his sheep. He watches over them, cares for them and makes their paths straight. That's what Jesus does for us. I'm counting on it and leaning on Scripture to direct my family on the path of His choosing. As humans we will wander but thankfully, we have Jesus who is steadfast and true.
I don't know where Hunter will end up. He has been accepted to two colleges and hopefully, if he wants it bad enough, he will get a scholarship. Either way, he will be going to college, Christ willing and becoming a man that glorifies God. At the end of any journey on earth, you can't take what you earned or the time you spent being successful, you only take one thing with you and that's the Holy Father. I am praying for the young men and women that are now launching into their futures and asking God to lead them all their days and to take care of His children. More importantly, to give the elders the wisdom to lead them and to reinforce that Jesus directs them, not man. They are the future of the world, we must pray for them and the promise that they we will be watched over until the end.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” (Jeremiah 29:11-14 NIV)