Good morning all-
I am sorry for the long delays between blogs. A lot is going on right now and I have not been able to write as much. By the end of the month, things will slow down and I will once again write daily. Until then, I will try to write as much as possible. There could be a lag during March 18-25th because I will be enjoying my family during spring break but I promise I will be back again.
Although I haven't been writing, God has been working on my heart in numerous ways. I've found that even when I don't spend time writing, I am meditating on Him in the car. For the first time in a long time, I turned Pandora on to Christian music. I often drive hours without any noise in my car and because my son is worried about my sanity, I thought I better try it for a while. I love to think but I'm wondering if all that thinking is what made my blood pressure go up, so I sat and listened about my Lord and contemplated Him in a whole new way.
The Lord is so brilliant and when my life is dull, it's easy for me to be in awe. Even in my busy hours, I can think upon a Scripture, hear a word or see a hurting person and think about God. Lately, I have wondered why so many people go from good health to bad. I am in doctor's offices all day long and I see the young to the very old and I'm always amazed at the failing body. It's especially hard when I see a young mother with her hair gone, knowing that she has cancer, and fighting as hard as she can to stay alive. It's even harder for me to see the elderly come in with canes, walkers and in wheelchairs. It makes me sad to think their once vital bodies are deteriorating and realize that could be me some day. Getting a diagnosis that goes with your family history will make you think like this. Again, maybe that's why my blood pressure is up. But the more I've thought about it and the more I've contemplated God, I have come to the conclusion that we can't escape death. That should be a no brainer, right? What I think I'm trying to say is that we can't escape dying to ourselves and finding our Father right in front of us. If I could control my destiny, I would be healthy forever. I would never struggle as my mother or father did. Both of my parents smoked and both had consequences for those actions. However, there are millions today that have lived a life like mine, that deal with numerous physical ailments and have to go on even though they have them.
So, God and I have been chatting about me not being self-absorbed, fretting or worrying about things that aren't in my control. I've been diagnosing my lack of trust for the last two weeks and realize I need a healer. Can you guess who that is? I have come to the end of me and have decided if this is God's will for my life then I will live with it graciously and I will love Him more during it. Haven't you wondered why some people that carry an incurable disease or simply bad health can be so joyous? I have and I think I know how they do it now. They accept that although they have not been beaten and they will never hang on a cross, this is there journey and Jesus is with them all the way. If you had asked me a couple of weeks ago if I would have found myself feeling sorry for myself, I would have answered, "No way." I don't have time to be sad or to even contemplate much about myself. I have so much going on that I rarely think about me until my head crashes and I'm out for the night. But over the last couple of weeks, I have really been angry. Luckily, I have a God that loves me and knows my heart. He has worked on my heart and has given me strength when I just didn't have any to give. So many times I wanted to call my mom up and cry on her shoulder and say, "I'm scared." She was so good at calming me down and making me look at the positives of life. After all she had faced many frightful things and had come out of each one of them. Unfortunately, I have no where to turn. So, I turned toward Christ and He gave me strength to conquer my fears, to walk in faith and to see the beauty that He's laid before me. What a wonderful Savior!
I hope today blesses you and that you find Jesus right where you are. Please continue to pray for women in other countries, for our leaders and for Jesus to reign all over the world. The issues around the globe continue to be perilous in other countries and we must intercede for the weak, the lost and the destitute. We were called to be a body, let's not leave anyone behind and let's continue to pray for strength, mercy and grace, which of course our Lord gives freely.
2 Corinthians 5:1 NKJV:
For we know that if our earthly house, this tent, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
2 Corinthians 5:21 NKJV:
For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.
My prayer today:
O, Lord, forgive me for not writing in many days. My struggles with myself have encompassed many of my mornings. And although I am a failed creature, You are God and I have seen You daily. You have been in my ear, on my tongue and in my mind. The Scriptures and songs have rolled through my mind so often that I wake up praising Your name. I'm sure I will continue to fight with myself but I have come to a place of rest, in Your arms, knowing You are God. I have found that facing a storm with You is so much easier than facing it myself. I am very blessed in so many aspects of my life that I feel ashamed for my behavior these last few weeks. Out of it, I have been stretched and I believe that in my struggle, You have walked with me and have placed my feet on the right path. I have found strength in Your arms and when I am lost all I have to do is call Your name. I hear Your words and know that You are God. Please heal the turbulent world and bring peace to the countries that only want death and destruction. Calm our leaders and help them to die to their pride. Every one needs a Savior and I call on You today to lead nations, change lives and bring Your people to You. For me and for those that read these words, I pray that no matter the situation, we will turn toward You all our days, that we would worship You in our darkest hour and that we would know the power of the cross. You did not die in vain and You continue to unravel the sins of this world. Make us known among the nations and bring forth fruit as we pray for one another. Like Abraham, our faithfulness could lead people to You and I pray we each do that today and forever. Our lives maybe short but the time is now to sing Your praises and to preach of a God that died for His people. Thank You for always being there when no one else can. We believe that You can move mountains, that You can part the sea and that You and only You can save us. You are a wonderful Savior, a mighty Lord and the King above all nations. Come to us today and be with us as we walk through this life. In Jesus name, AMEN