This morning I woke up from a disturbing dream. It took me a minute to realize where I was and that I actually was awake. It's interesting because I haven't been dreaming that much but I've been in another spiritual battle, so I can only conclude that the dream stems from that.
Whenever we are fighting for good, it seems like something comes in and takes our focus off it. Do you know what I mean? All the sudden we are immersed in our own heads thinking about our life, our challenges and our directions. We become, "I" focused. Not a good place to be but it just happens and then we sit on it for awhile and it becomes an obsession. Well, over the last couple of years, I've learned to shake off that kind of thinking. I'm day by day now and yet, I'm still human so it would be very easy for me to slip into "What about tomorrow?"
Tomorrow always comes, that is, unless you have died and perhaps that truly is the best tomorrow. While we're here on earth grieving, they are meeting Jesus, where there is no pain, no anxiety, no fear, no disease, no strife, no loss--they're free. So as I woke this morning I went to my daily reading of devotionals and Scripture. It's become what I call my holy time. It's me and Jesus, sitting in my office with no distractions. Oh, and of course,there's coffee too, even if it is decaffeinated with primal greens, its still coffee! Did I hear an Amen?
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that when I woke today, I didn't meet Jesus face to face. I didn't get to hear him talk to me about my choices, my sins, my distractions or my journey. I woke to a confusing dream that drove me to Him, which is the only way I can find Him here and to his non-audible voice, the Bible. I have to admit, I often worry that I haven't repented for all my sins and how many of those will there be, only He knows. At the same time, I know He knows my heart and my heart is 100% His. Trials have just been part of my life. I've lived through them, or maybe, stumbled through them. And in the end, I have come out of each one a stronger, more faithful Jesus follower. Maybe I'm like the man that was paralyzed, who had the desire to get into the pool with no one to help him. That didn't actually hold true though because Jesus came to Him and asked him if he wanted to be well and then healed Him. Only today will reveal my direction and only today can I pray and walk with the Lord, for tomorrow will bring the next set of challenges.
I'm humble enough to admit that I need Jesus, not just today, but for every hour of today. I'm needy enough to admit that I want Him to change me and mold me and I'm faithful enough to believe He will do all these things according to His will. So today, I pray for my sisters all over the world that are moving through life with challenges, hurts, strife and horrific circumstances. I'm praying that our Lord and Savior is walking with them and lifting them up. I'm praying that the enemy will not destroy the love they have for their God and I'm praying that I am preparing every single day to see Jesus, even if that's 40 years down the road.
A heart is a fickle thing. It wants what it wants but we can train it to want Jesus. Take a moment today, whether that's driving your car, taking a shower, going to work, diapering your baby, whatever your doing, ask Jesus to mold your heart and keep you right in today. We prepare on this earth to be warriors for a world we can't see and our leader is the Son of God the Father. We are strong and mighty. Our hope is not on man but on Him who set us free. Tell your mind and heart that today and God will lead you into the battle prepared and full of His love. May you see Him as you wake up today for He's waiting to meet you right where you are.
I pray all these things for you my sisters, be bold and bright and don't let anything squash the light that lives inside you!
Your power is great, and your glory is seen everywhere in heaven and on earth. You are king of the entire world,
1 Chronicles 29:11