Have you ever lost it over nothing and wondered why you did it? I am not proud of myself but last night I lost it on three men. You can imagine their surprise as the banshee woman came out and replaced their mother and wife. I can't say that it was my finest moment but it indicates something to me that only that incident could reveal. I have been under an immense amount of stress. I live by the motto that no matter how tough the times get; I get tougher. But common sense and a dose of God induced repentance last night, reminded me that I am a woman doing all things within my own strength, not His.
I hate when God provides a lesson through my bad behavior. Especially, in front of my children. My husband already realizes that when I am overwhelmed, things get crazy for me. But your children have no idea and they just think you're weird. Well last night, I was weird but I am thanking Christ that He revealed my need to come to him and solidify my strength through Him.
It's not easy for me to eat humble pie. It is especially hard for me to go to my children and ask for forgiveness. At the time, I thought I was right. Doesn't anyone else see what I see? That's the wrong heart attitude. Of course they don't and if I hadn't come off like some three headed medusa, they might have heard something I said. I realize we are all going to have times where life has gotten the best of us, where we are overtired, weary from the world, and just need a break. But if you are like the banshee I became last night, realize that you are trying to do too many things in your own strength. God will let you continue until you don't recognize yourself, so take my advise, repent and ask for His strength!
Remember strength doesn't come from how many things you accomplished today. It's not a conviction or an attitude; it comes from our Father and it will not only bring you strength but peace. If you are lacking peace, I can guarantee God isn't in the middle.
Psalm 28: 7-8 NKJV
The LORD is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped;
Therefore my heart greatly rejoices,
And with my song I will praise Him.
The LORD is their strength,
And He is the saving refuge of His anointed.
My prayer today:
Lord of great strength, power and might, I come before a repentant woman. I have been trying to do everything in my own strength and like everything I try to do alone; I failed. Please help me today and every day recognize that my strength only comes through you and that anytime I feel overwhelmed, I would get down on my knees and ask for You to come in and give me strength. I ask Your forgiveness today for my behavior and I pray that in today, You would provide me the strength, the peace and the time to get all my tasks done. I want to honor You with my life and I am sorry that I was trying to be my own King. Be the King of my heart today and provide all my needs. I come on bended knee praising Your mightiness, Your power, and Your strength. AMEN