Good morning my sisters-
I have been traveling and got back late last night. I read over my last post a million times but didn't have time to fix the punctuation. I promise to do that sometime in the near future. I even found a few grammatical errors. The reason I was going over my last post so much was I was in a place where I felt immense fear. It wasn't for my safety or even for my being. It simply was because I felt a little defeated. I used to be able to touch something in this Industry and it just came to me. Now, it seems like the Industry is not as open as it once was and my competitor and former employer is much larger than we are. I was one to ten and the enemy felt like it was all around me.
I realize sometimes when I write that a lesson will be coming down the road and yes, my sisters, it did. I guess you could correlate it to a decision, was I willing to trust the Lord more than myself? I can't say that I did the full conference but little by little, I told God that I would rest in Him even though it seemed bleak. I have to penetrate the community and get them to understand why I came back and why I went to this company. But I have to say, there were moments where I was shaking in my boots.
I have always been afraid to fail maybe that's why I have succeeded in most everything I have ever done. I don't like to let people down and I especially don't want to let God down. It was important for me to stay out of my head this week and focus on Jesus. So I continued to go back to my last post. Was I going to lose faith in the midst of trying to do something on my own? Thank goodness I came to my senses and I gave it to Jesus.
Almost at once my confidence came back and I began to really understand the impact of what was going on. I had to be aware that Jesus was the reason I was here and whatever happens is in His control, not mine. I have been forthright thus far, believing in Him and challenging myself to not get down but like everyone that reads this blog; I'm only human.
So this morning when I was looking for a Scripture, one was ready for me to read. It was Psalm 27 and I felt a huge relief. Maybe if I had clicked on my phone sooner, I would have seen it and felt peace. Of course, I didn't because I worked from 5:30 until 11 at night so I was so exhausted when I got home to my hotel I collapsed. Well, God left it for me to see today, so I could give Him all the glory, oh and share it with you.
If I look on a situation to long, I wonder if He will protect me. He does probably more than I even know. Some times He can't protect us though because we must fight through our will to His and remember that faith comes from trust. I remembered that this week and I'm so grateful I did. I love Jesus and once again, He has shown me how much I'm loved. Be well my sisters and pray this Psalm, He's near only if we are willing to surrender.
The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked advance against me to devour me, it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident. One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock. Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord. Hear my voice when I call, Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek. Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, God my Savior. Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. Teach me your way, Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, spouting malicious accusations. I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. (Psalm 27:1-14 NIV)