The sun is rising this morning and shining through my front door. I can hear the birds singing and see the shadows of my bushes hitting my window. It looks like a urethral painting and I'm sitting here watching the master paint it. In the last 20 years of my life, I haven't watched many sunrises. I've been to busy running to work. As a matter of fact, I would be sitting in my office right now working and preparing for the day ahead.
Sometimes I miss that world. It hasn't even been a month yet but I still feel like I should be in the race and not in the crawl. The thing that's so strange is my stress level. I really couldn't even write in the past months. I dabbled at it but my creativity was stifled, I felt lost inside and maybe a little unworthy. I just quit doing what I loved and I especially quit looking for the beauty of the morning. All that is done now, so as I sit and write many things come to mind and I think the one thing above all others that I struggle with is my love for money. I love to know I have money in the bank and really if I could stuff it under my bed, in closets and in crevices I would. I fear not having it and it drives me crazy. My son is wearing clothes he had since high school and my closet is 1/3 of my husbands. I'm not a spender, I am a saver. I'm like the chipmunk gathering for the winter, holding my stores and not wanting to let go but all of the sudden, I must let go.
So the stress I've felt for the last weeks and months has dissipated but the provision part is still holding me down. Will God provide? Did I hear correctly when I left my job? Is this going to be okay? Will He bless me for leaving and show me my way? At every corner, these are the questions I'm asking myself and then there's the fear of the unknown and the money. The greatest benefit this trial has given me was the awakening that I loved money and that I needed God to provide all things. And yet, it still has a grip on me. Why? Because the evil one controls the world's markets, which means he controls money and if we fall in love with money and allow it to be our idol, our focus will leave the supernatural and become selfish, worldly and minimize the power of God.
I read in my devotional today that He is molding us like clay. We are on the potter's wheel and Jesus' goal is to beautify us by smashing the impurities and bringing us round and round until we are a beautiful piece of clay. I have felt like a piece of pottery for most of my life but never like I have in the last year. The last year showed me things about myself I would never have guessed. God purified my heart by revealing all the bubbles that resided in it. Now, I have some more work to do. I must trust Him in all things. I must give up my love for money and give all the glory to God. I must commit my new business to Him and allow Him to work the way He sees fit and I must believe in the power (Greek word: Dunamis) of Jesus Christ.
I confess today that money has been an idol. I'm not proud of it but I'm glad its been revealed. Anything can be an idol in our lives, so daily we should ask Jesus what we idol and for Him to take it from us. If you had asked me a year ago would I pick money over Jesus, I would have said no, when in reality I was choosing money over Him. Even now I sit and wonder how all the bills will be paid, will my husband support the move I've made long term and will I be able to truly surrender this need to have stores and treasures on earth. I'm going to work on it day by day and I know the Lord will meet me where I am. It's sad for me to think I'm the rich man that wanted to follow Jesus but couldn't part with all his possessions. I truly believe he wanted to follow Jesus but just couldn't bring himself to trust Jesus.
So I leave you with this parting thought, what do you treasure on earth? Is it money, status or even your job? Whatever it is, we're to put it at the foot of the cross and give it to Jesus. It might not even be something large, it could be fear, worry or anxiety of something that is really not that significant but it penetrates our hearts until that's all we can think of. Jesus doesn't want our thoughts on anything but Him. The glory must go to God always and if the glory is on things of this world then it's time to pray over them and ask Jesus to move them from our sight. I know this won't be easy. It's a day to day journey full of pitfalls and although I'm strong right now, if I'm not careful I will begin to focus on money over Jesus and all this brave text will be for not. So I choose to put my mind in God's hands, give over what is already His and watch the dunamis work in my life. Dunamis is the Greek word for ability and power. It's the root of our English word, dynamite. I don't know about you but if God's holding dynamite for my life, bring it on.
Take time to analyze what you treasure on earth. If you think it's an idol, spend time with Christ and ask Him to remove it from it's place of power and replace it with the glory of Him.
Praying for you my sisters and I hope these words bring you encouragement, site and a holy fire for our Lord Jesus Christ. Without Him, life would be worthless.
Hebrews 13:5-6New International Version (NIV)
5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.”[a]
never will I forsake you.”[a]
6 So we say with confidence,
“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me?”[b]
What can mere mortals do to me?”[b]
Dear Lord, we come before you a fallen people. We admit that we hold idols before you and repent of our need for them. You are the only one we are to focus on, yet the world holds our sight. Please focus our eyes and hearts on what matters to You and bring us to a place of quiet so that we might see Your holy dunamis released upon our lives, our families and our countries. We surrender all at Your feet and know that You will lift us up to a place of wisdom and prosperity in You! We pray all this in Jesus Name!
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